Dude, fuck VH1. If our government was like this I would never stop watching C-SPAN. Via JoeMyGod.
Lindy West
Posted inCats
Of Bears, Part III of III
Here’s part one. Here’s part two. This is Hugh Glass before. PART III: HUGH GLASS, RELUCTANT PIRATE This is my favorite bear attack story of all time. Hugh Glass was a hella grizzled frontiersman—”a sailor, a reluctant pirate with Jean Lafitte, and an honorary Pawnee”—whose hella-grizzledness helped him survive the most badass ordeal in the […]
Posted inCats
On Bears, Part II of III
(Continued from this morning.) “I just..wanted…some COOOOOOOORN!!!” PART II: KESAGAKE Now, Old Two Toes was a frightening bear, there can be no doubt. But just one year before he devoured Frank Welch, 61, and subsequently lost his life in the high forests of Wyoming, an even more fearsome beast was chomping humans on the other […]
Posted inCats
On Bears, Part I of III
“I thought I was about to get laid and eat some delicious peanut butter, but instead all I found was a mouthful of nylon and this weird plastic monkey. Thanks for the bait and switch, science dick.” PART I: PREDATOR SHIELD™ The other night, on the cable television (which is mine as of three weeks […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Lying, American-Style
Ricky Gervais Should Have Stayed in England
The Invention of Lying: Ricky Gervais should have stayed in
England.
Posted inEthics
Strong Enough for a Man, but pH-Balanced to Totally Dissolve Yo Brainz!
Hippie sham? Or ALZHEIMER’S DEATH PASTE!? Okay, so, you know how the whole world won’t shut up about how this stuff that I rub on my armpits every day is a total murderer? And I’m slowly murdering myself to death in the name of vanity, when, instead, I could daintily brush a sprig of lavender […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Of Cute Dresses and Peach Pits
My One and Only: It’s Cliché-tastic!
My One and Only: It’s Cliché-tastic!
Posted inMovies & TV
Please Shut Up, Baby Boomers
We Get It. Woodstock Happened.
If somebody says “Woodstock” one more time…
Posted inEthics
This Is Why We Shouldn’t Let the Humans and the Sea Mammals Breed
Headline of the year: Manatee man arrested in attempt to punish stepson with cat feces Thanks for everything, Google alert for “feces.”
Posted inGeneral
The Different Kinds of People that There Are
A Complete List
Would you like to know what kind of different kinds of people there
are? Okay.
Posted inMovies & TV
Doodoo Meets Feces
That’s National Treasure 2, All Right!
Before the screening of National Treasure: Book of Secrets had even started, a dude a few seats away from me announced to no one in particular: “This is like The Da Vinci Code meets Indiana Jones!” Great point, dude! He’s sort of right, though—it is like The Da Vinci Code in that Nicolas Cage is […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Let’s Bone Santa
The Perfect Holiday: Um, Ick
Are you looking for love this Christmas? Are you hella divorced and sad? And tell me, how do you feel about fat suits? Totally turned on? I thought so. Well, you’re in for a treat, lady, because: “This Christmas, the perfect man just happens to be Santa.” That mind-blowing tagline belongs to The Perfect Holiday, […]