Local bike-centric film fest Filmed by Bike is opening this weekend, y’all, with three shows and a big block party taking over Clinton Street Friday night.
I have two tickets to the 11pm show to give away (a $20 value!) here on Blogtown. To up the stakes, know this: despite being on the jury this year, I’ve never actually made it into a screening of Filmed By Bike. The shows always sell out before I can get to the theater. These tickets guarantee you a seat at the 11 pm show, so you can stay out boozing in the street without worrying about the show selling out (priceless!)
The tickets will go to whoever writes the best caption for this photo in the comments before 5 PM today. Get crackin’!
“…on a bicycle made for sodomy”
One step closer to the human-centipede.
“The expertly-oriented quads of Team Go Go Go Go Fastest.”
“I don’t smell anything, are you sure you smell something?”
gee your ass crack smells terrific!
Ok Go goes retro for their next video…
tall bikes are just the new long bikes
“While studios seek to innovate and remake popular old titles like The Karate Kid and Alice in Wonderland, Columbia Pictures has announced the start of production on a modern, urbanized version of Olympic bobsled film Cool Runnings. The bobsledders will now be competing in the new event of multi-rider bicycle racing. The role of coach Irving ‘Irv’ Blitzer, originally played by the late John Candy, is rumored to be filled by House star Hugh Laurie. Release anticipated Fall 2011.”
Let the quad bike team meeting commence.
First on the agenda, banning mexican food 24 hours before any team function. All in favor?
Henri, you did secure E.T.’s basket?
The smell only changes for the lead dog.
“But where are there aero-helmets.”
Orville and Wilbur soon grew weary in their role as the ‘backmen’ on the quadrivelocipede team.
Hey Moocher, I was only speaking figuratively when I said ‘”We Cutters have got to stick together.”
The Tour de France “team sport” division proved unpopular among viewers and cyclists alike.
“I smell salmon. Faux-salmon.”
One double stuf Oreo to go.
Unclear on the concept of “bobsled,” these men suffered near-tragic ice rashes and tangled facial hair.
Despite weaving and soft-pedaling, Bernard just couldn’t shake those wheel suckers.
March is Colon Rectal awareness month!!!
Oops, I got my mustache wax in your back hair.
“But if I make myself any more aerodynamic, I’ll be nuzzling the small of your back, sir!”
PianoForte: A stronger, more powerful level of playing
As I rode my bike, music began to happen to me. Insofar as I am able to describe it it was orchestral music. The piano was often involved, but on the whole, the music was that of a large orchestra which had become a single instrument. (William Sayonara from “The Bicycle Rider in Beverly Hills”)
Hardest Track Stand Ever
stroke, stroke, stroke..
wait.. this isn’t a dragon boat.
Thankfully it’s not gas powered.
Thankfully, it’s not gas powered.
Movie sequel poster:
Breaking Away 2: Bringing Up the Rear
Yeah yeah, 4 guys nuzzling on a bike, sure, but LOOK at the size of that Chainring!
As crowds flocked to the wildly successful Cirque du Soleil production, Peloton, no one could have predicted the terrible fate awaiting the Flying Pigeon Brigade
Scientists at the secret laboratory rejoiced: The Floyd Landis cloning was a success.
Veloctipede
“Psst! Jacques wants me to let you know he thinks you looked better with the ‘stache.”
“So the big chainring means I only have to pedal half as hard, right?”
One day soon, the bike lanes of Portland will be packed this densely with cyclists.
These are great captions, guys, but I’m going to give this one to Two Squatting Women. I don’t know why Squatter’s comment made me laugh, but it did even on the second read-through.
Email me and I’ll add your name to the Friday night guest list, big winner! smirk@portlandmercury.com
How about a speech bubble coming from one of the bikers in the back?
“Whoever is up front, can we please steer clear of the blood in the bike lanes?”
Thanks, S.Mirk! I know I’m many days late but still, much appreciated.