Guess the Famous Literary Character!

• Seriously. Keep guessing. You’re never going to figure it out.

This sassy country lass is the new face of a certain literary character who may or may not be my favorite heroine of all time. That’s a trick—she is 100% ABSOLUTELY my favorite. Can you guess who this Prelled-up hayseed honey is supposed to be? I hear you screaming “Elizabeth Wakefield” with a fervor that would fill Liz’s Sweet Valley High gossip column with 1,000 blind items. But how wrong you are. “Well, I don’t know. Did they sex up Winnie from Tuck Everlasting, so she’d be a more sultry toad-harasser?” Ha! I wish. Check out the egregious answer after the jump, plus a few more pictures of book-cover makeovers gone off the the fucking rails.

• Like this chick could hold her cherry cordial. Pssssh.

• Now this is a bad-ass bitch who can drink enough cherry cordials to make a grown sailor cry.

Jezebel has a gallery of effed-up book makeovers, like this doozy of Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar—only the most depressing and awesome novel that has ever been noveled. In a litany of questions I have about this makeover monstrosity: Does anyone else not understand why there’s no actual makeup in that compact?

• I just really don’t understand this compact. Why is it comically large? Why is Esther Greenwood applying a falsie to her face? So many questions…

Thus ends your daily report of Literary Treasures That Have Been Shat Upon.