It Sure is a Scientific World

The next time you pop that irritating Radiohead CD into your player–beware. It could be under attack! CDs have a number of enemies, including improper handling. Even worse, some are manufactured with tiny air bubbles, infused within the aluminum-based ‘fabric’ of the recording surface (causing the aluminum to oxidize, rendering the CD unplayable). If that […]

With breast implant malpractice settlements on the rise, scientists around the world are contemplating women’s breasts, and looking for a “natural” way to cultivate them; not in Tupperware, or test tubes–but inside the body. Bioengineering researchers, hot on the trail of growing breasts at home, have discovered a way to grow the tissue on site […]

The Pioneer, a Delhi, India newspaper, recently reported sightings of a “mysterious monkey-like creature,” that attacked and mauled more than 13 citizens on a two-day rampage, and is said to be responsible for at least two deaths. Frightened townspeople took to the streets and held demonstrations in the Krishna Nagar area of East district Ghaziabad […]

For the very first time in the seemingly unrelated histories of science and top-notch tabloid reporting, the Portland Mercury hereby invites YOU to enter my SHOW YOUR ABNORMALITIES & DEFORMITIES CONTEST! Were you born with webbed feet? Do you have see-through ears? What about a string of teats, or a mole on your person that […]

Pandiculation has existed since the dawn of man it affects humans, reptiles, birds, and most mammals. Although most human beings have been known to experience pandiculation while still in the womb (as early as 11 weeks after conception), we achieve pandiculatory contagiousness between the first and second years of life. It is believed that the […]

Finding fresh material for this column–scouring print, broadcast, and electronic media–is always a challenge worth undertaking. Recently, I found a reference to Vaginismus, and set my sights on researching this potentially humorous sexual malady. My findings? Vaginismus is an involuntary clamping shut of the vagina. Although the most familiar example of sexual dysfunction is Erectile […]

Ever find yourself becoming nauseous in the close company of gushing, overeager lovebirds? Besides the fact that the couple may be overtly exchanging saliva and groping each other with the modesty of zoo apes, your disgust could have something to do with fragrance sensitivity. Hypersensitivity to airborne chemicals and other social contaminants (perfumes, cosmetics, lotions, […]

Of all the sciences, Physical Science is at the top of my list when it comes to fun. In high school, I repeatedly took a PS class taught by Mr. Guyon; an old, gangly, lab-coat-wearing-bald-man-with-horn-rims, who drove a huge, well preserved gangster-style black coupe. At the start of each semester’s class, Guyon would load a […]

The December issue of The Atlantic Monthly reports a disturbing new group of body-modification aficionados, whose need for artistic self-enhancement teeters on insanity. While many pathetic hipsters and hotties toy with the body art sound barrier (implants, branding, tattoos, piercing, and genital mutilation), apotemnophiliacs all over the world are travelling at the speed of light […]