Letters

BITCH-SLAPPED BY A WET BAR RAG HELLO THERE: I’m writing in response to Justin Slanders’ review of Produce Row Cafe [“Spring Eatin’ Guide,” April 24]. Justin warns us to “watch out for the staff: they’re rarely as friendly as they should be.” The thing is, I’ve been meaning to check out Produce Row’s happy hour, […]

THE PRINCIPAL IS PRINCI-PISSED! DEAR SIR: In your paper of March 13, there was an article about seniors at Roosevelt High School [“High School Seniors Volunteer to ‘Handle’ North Korean Crisis”]. Needless to say the article did not represent Roosevelt High School nor our students. We were told that the article was satire, in the […]

TERRORISM IS NOT FUNNY TO THE EDITOR, VIA VOICE MAIL: “Bueños Días. I picked up your paper today, with that big headline that Laurelhurst had fallen, and I was just terrified [“Laurelhurst Falls,” Mercury cover, April 17]! You know, there are so many morons in Portland that think they have to destroy anything that has […]

FREE TO BE JEW AND ME TO THE EDITOR: I’m upset and saddened by the use of the phrase “Jew-run liberal media” by Carmelo Martinez in the article, “War Song Roundup” [April 10]. This line of blanket statements and falsities is no different than the views of extremists such as David Duke, the KKK, and […]

THERE’S A TIME AND PLACE FOR GAY SEX TO THE EDITOR, VIA VOICEMAIL: “This is a longtime reader of the Mercury. I’m not going to patronize the gay populace by saying how my mom’s gay, and how I’m a member of P-Flag, and I have all this gay credibility. But I believe that ad showing […]

HEY READERS! You virtually carpet-bombed us this week with your opinions about Christopher Frizzelle’s article “Stop Trying to Save My Brother” [March 27]. In the story, Chris asks protesters to “shut the fuck up” about “supporting the troops” and let his brother Patrick and his military brethren finish the job they’ve started in Iraq. What […]

ALLIANCE MEMBERS SUFFER, TOO TO THE MERCURY: I’m a Mercury reader and a member of the Portland Business Alliance. I’m also a liberal democrat who voted for measure 28 and do not agree with the PBA stance on anti-war protesters downtown and other city issues. Most PBA policies are debated and voted on, and there […]

FORGET FRANCESCONI! WHAT ABOUT PARKING TICKETS? TO WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY: Your perspective on the Francesconi “issue” is unfair and intellectually dishonest [“Look Who Unzipped Francesconi’s Lip,” March 13]. He believes that the anti-war resolution is both a waste of time, and more importantly, not within the proper scope of the city council’s business. Under your […]

LEAVE MY FRANCESCONI ALONE! TO THE EDITOR: Why you gotta give grief to Jim Francesconi [“Unzip Francesconi’s Lip Contest,” Feb 27]. I’ve known Jim for twenty-eight years, personally and as a Portlander, and I’m telling you: we are fortunate to have him in office. Jim has kicked ass so Portland can and will. His dedication […]

YOU SINGLE-HANDEDLY WRECKED MY GAY RELATIONSHIP TO THE EDITOR: You sick fucks continue to give us beautiful homos a bad name [“Den of Sin,” Justin Sanders, Feb 20]. In an age that no longer requires men to secretly meet up in such “establishments,” sex clubs serve little purpose other than to provide uglier-than-fuck old men […]

ANOTHER USE FOR GARDEN SHEARS TO THE MERCURY: This goes out to the writer of last week’s I, Anonymous [“Dick Shift,” Feb 20]. I too have been subjected to the horrors of glancing out my bus window, and seeing a man in a blue minivan jerking off. I don’t know what he looked like, but […]

SMART-MOUTHED KIDS ARE FUCKED TO THE EDITOR VIA VOICEMAIL: “Hey. My name is Kenneth. You have an article that says ‘Teachers Are Fucked!’ [Jerry Masterson, Jan 16] and it has a picture of an 8-year-old kid smiling and I don’t understand you people, man. You sit there and you print something like this, you know? […]