Movies & TV

MOVIES & EVENTS 102 Dalmatians 102 Dalmatians is almost as good as 101 Dalmatians. 102 Dalmatians was really funny but pretty boring, because it seemed really long. The parts that were good were really good, but the parts that were bad were really bad. For example, the movie wasn’t very exciting because almost half of […]

MORE CLEVER than intelligent, more self-consciously grim than emotional, The Sixth Sense nonetheless seemed to ensure that its writer/director M. Night Shyamalan had become the next big thing. After being granted a proverbial blank check to repeat the success, Shyamalan has returned Disney’s largesse by delivering one of the worst films of the year. If […]

AFTER A LONG DAY of your unique lifestyle, you feel like unwinding with a good film. Fortunately, you picked up a Mercury at your local tanning salon! Those razor-sharp Mercury film critics never steer you wrong. So: If all you’re looking for is some festive, brightly-colored entertainment that doesn’t make you think too hard, then […]

Is your craving for vicarious vengeance frustrated by your belief that “good guys” shouldn’t lower themselves to the level of “bad guys?” Well, good news! In each of these films, bad guys get what they really deserve–with justice delivered via the bloodstained hands of other outlaws! Finally–you can simultaneously enjoy AND condemn savage violence and […]

Thursday, November 16 8:00 WB GILMORE GIRLS Lorelai hits the roof when she discovers a boy’s tongue wedged down Rory’s throat! 10:00 NBC E.R. Last year it was Alan Alda. Now, please welcome this season’s washed-up celeb–Sally Field! Friday, November 17 8:00 ABC THE BEATLES REVOLUTION Celebrities and politicians wax poetic on the most fucking […]

MOVIES & EVENTS The 6th Day Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as a goose-steppin’ kraut who gets his Aryan panties in a bunch when scientists clone his Nazi rat bastard ass. 82nd Avenue, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Mall, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza , Westgate […]

FIVE-YEAR-OLD SON (on encountering the peacock that roams freely through the zoo): Is that a real peacock? Dad: No honey, don’t worry–it belongs to the zoo. Marcel Ophuls’ heartbreaking The Sorrow and the Pity lies in wait all over town. Don’t worry, though, it’s not a real movie–it belongs to Hollywood Video. It’s been captured; […]

Thursday, November 9 8:00 FOX BATTLE OF THE CHILD GENIUSES 2 Sniffling, asthmatic, eight-year-old geniuses are locked in a cage and forced to battle their way to freedom! 8:00 WB GILMORE GIRLS Rory devises a second birthday party after royally screwing up the first one. Friday,November 10 9:00 WB POPULAR The good news: Josh passes […]

OPENINGS CRISS-CROSS GO, JOHNNY GO! GREAT DANCE LITTLE NICKY LIVE FREE OR DIE MEN OF HONOR OF MICE AND MEN RED PLANET ROCK, ROCK, ROCK SILENCE! SUPER8UNDERGROUND PRESENTS “DREAMS” TIME REGAINED TOKYO STORY X-RAY VISIONS MOVIES & EVENTS Almost Famous Cameron Crowe’s film about groupies, Lester Bangs, and learning to ROCK in the ’70s. Broadway […]

MARCEL PROUST’S Remembrance of Things Past would certainly seem to stand out at the head of that notorious literary genre known as the “unfilmable novel.” It’s already defeated, in whole or in part, two fine artists: Volker Schlöndorff, who made Swann in Love, an admittedly well-acted but tepid and overly respectful chamber film; and Harold […]