Newsblast!

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Big beats, hit streets, see gangsta’s roamin’. And parties don’t stop ’til eight in the mornin’. LET’S GO TO PRESS. Following the catastrophic mining accident in Turkey that killed at least 238 people, a violent protest has erupted with people blaming the government for allowing poor safety conditions. I love this headline: […]

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! ‘Cause I heard many things about Georgie. Nothing kinky, like no orgies. I heard he knows how to make love, like an angel from the heaven above. LET’S GO TO PRESS. Danford Grant, a prominent Seattle lawyer, has pled guilty to raping five Asian massage parlor workers. And good, this dick is […]

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! So umm, let me loosen up my bra strap. And umm, let me boost ya with my raw rap. LET’S GO TO PRESS. Hundreds are killed in an attack on a remote town in Nigeria—probably by the Islamic terrorist network Boko Haram (the same group who kidnapped nearly 300 teenage girls and […]

Doctor Governor John Kitzhaber was being driven to dinner in downtown Portland last night when he saw a woman on the ground, in distress, unconscious, possibly after having overdosed. He bolted from his car and personally performed CPR until paramedics could take the woman to a hospital. “My job was embarrassing—I had to have a […]

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! And when he tells you you ain’t nothin’, don’t believe him. And if he can’t learn to love you, you should leave him. Cause sista, you don’t need him. LET’S GO TO PRESS. IN CASE YOU MISSED IT ON FRIDAY, once again, here is THE SHOT. (And from every social angle.) Relive […]

May Day in Portland was a vivacious, uplifting, affirming affair for a few, permitted hours yesterday. That was not the case in Seattle. Deep into the evening, and well after that city’s permitted march had ended, packs of youthful anti-capitalists went off script and toured downtown, sometimes with flame, sometimes getting into it with riot […]

Yes, poor Americans today undeniably have it “better” and “easier” than their poor counterparts of yesteryear. But stopping the conversation there, as Republicans would prefer in an assault against social programs and a minimum wage hike, utterly misses the point. Economic data shows that while consumer goods like phones and TVs have grown impossibly cheaper, […]

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I’m in serious shit, I feel totally lost. If I’m asking for help it’s only because, being with you has opened my eyes. Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise? LET’S GO TO PRESS. The execution of an Oklahoma death row inmate was botched when officials administered a new lethal drug […]

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Step n’ move your hips with a feelin’ from side to side. Sit yourself down in your car, and take a ride. LET’S GO TO PRESS. Tornadoes blasted through the central and southern states yesterday, wreaking havoc and killing 17. Hennady Kernes, the mayor of Kharkiv in the Ukraine, was shot in […]