Live from the Rose Garden as the Portland Trail Blazers meet the Houston Rockets and kickoff the 2009-10 season. It’s been 181 days since the Rockets pulled the plug on the Blazers’ season, a short-lived victory for a Houston team that was soon annihilated by a Lakers lineup that now has big shiny championship rings. […]
Sports
Posted inSports
Nicolas Batum Out 3-5 Months
I think you can see the exact moment where Batum tore his labrum. Turns out that French people are not made of Adamantium and they cannot instantly regenerate their muscles—I had them confused with Wolverine—so that means that young Nicolas Batum will miss 3-5 months following surgery for a torn right labrum. Congratulations Martell Webster, […]
Posted inSports
Embarrassment of Riches
The 2009-10 Portland Trail Blazers Season Preview
The bright future of the Portland Trail Blazers.
Posted inSports
LaMarcus Aldridge Just Got Paid
Rest assured Blazers fans: LaMarcus Aldridge is not going anywhere anytime soon. In an odd day for the Blazers franchise that featured the signing of Paddy Patty Mills—plus the cutting of Jarron Collins and North Portland’s very own Ime Udoka—Aldridge got his big boy paycheck, rumored to be $70 million over five years. Now he […]
Posted inSports
Blazers vs Jazz – Hot Live Blog Action
Live from the Rose Garden as the Portland Trail Blazers meet the Utah Jazz in completely meaningless preseason basketball. Tonight is supposed to be a sneak peek at a possible regular season starting lineup for the Blazers—Blake, Roy, Batum, Aldridge, Przybilla—plus plenty of Andre Miller thrown in the mix as well. There will be no […]
Posted inSports
Blazers vs Suns – Hot Live Blog Action
Live from the Rose Garden Memorial Coliseum as the Portland Trail Blazers take on the Phoenix Suns in completely useless preseason basketball. Tonight is the first meaningful event to take place in this building—My Chemical Romance concerts and Motorcycle Ice Racing do not count—since May 2nd, 1995, when Phoenix (ironically) eliminated the Blazers from the […]
Posted inSports
Chris Bosh Just Saved the Internet
This might be my favorite sports story in years:The Toronto Raptors’ Chris Bosh was bummed that some jerkass cybersquatters reserved the domain name chrisbosh.com before he could purchase it. Instead of getting some alternate name—chrisbosh.geocities.com—or prying open his wallet and buying it from the squatters, Bosh sued. And won. And won. And won… CHICAGO, October […]
Posted inSports
“Juwan Howard Underwent Successful Unicorn Horn Removal Surgery”
This photo, and title, is courtesy of our pals at Blazers Edge. It seems that new—yet older than dirt—Blazer Juwan Howard is sporting this stylish bandage to cover a massive scratch on his forehead. It’s a good look, I hope he stays with it all season.
Posted inSports
Today is YOUR Time!
It’s Monday, ya’ll! And you need some INSPIRATION. So I want you to get out there, and watch this video of a four-year-old doing a spot-on impersonation of Kurt Russell’s locker room speech in Miracle, in which the 1980 U.S. hockey team gave those godless Rooskies the ass-whuppin’ they so rightly deserved! THIS IS YOUR […]
Posted inSports
A City That Knows How to Party.
So Obama’s trip to convince world leaders in Copenhagen that Chicago should host the 2016 Olympics has fallen flat, but I’m actually feeling pretty good about Rio de Janeiro right now. Read what happened when it was announced the city won the bid: “The announcement was shown live on Rio’s Copacabana beach, where tens of […]
Posted inSports
THE BEST TWO MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE BEGIN… NOW.
Turn your speakers up. All the way, chickenshit. See? Don’t fuck with polar bears. And go to hockey games. Or something. I don’t know. I love it. Hat tip to RT.
Posted inSports
PTFC2K9: We Won the League!
Photo borrowed from the blog Jargon Scott Nishimura is all smiles. Click for more amazing Timbers pictures Hi Folks, your itinerant Timbers Blogger is reporting in from a remote jungle location. I had to bribe a monkey with cigarettes and a rickshaw driver with bananas to get to an internet cafe to post this, but […]