So according to this article at Radar, friends of Rachel Uchitel (one of the thousands of Tiger Woods’ mistresses that have popped up in the last few days) are saying she took drugs with the golfer before they had sex. NO PROBLEM THERE. However! She also allegedly told them she loved having “Ambien sex.”

Uchitel told one pal, ‘You know you have crazier sex on Ambien – you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex.'”

Umm… WHAAAA?? Why have I not had Ambien sex yet? Am I the only one? I hate being left out! Is this why my doctor looked at me funny when I asked for a prescription? Have YOU ever had Ambien sex? Well? HAVE YOU?

HAVE YOU EVER HAD “AMBIEN SEX”?

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

6 replies on “Wait… Why is Tiger Woods Freakier Than Me?”

  3. Some movie which I shouldn’t admit to watching and honestly can’t remember the name of featured quasi Ambien sex. The joke was they tried to stay awake for the sex but did not succeed.

  5. Uh, I dated two girls who were into Ambien sex. Unfortunately, I wasn’t, and so we are no longer dating. If I want to screw a passed-out chick, I’ll go slip someone some rufies.

  6. i know that my friends mother once came into her room late at night on ambien butt ass naked and began apologizing for her childhood and telling her how much she loved her…
    does that count?

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