Hello! Welcome! Please, pull up a chair, put your hair behind your ears, flip your phone over so you canโt see notifications, lean in, wrap your hands around your mug to warm them, blow a little, grab your phone again because this whole situation is actually really cute right now with the steam, put it […]
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass: #BlueWave > #RedWave
Bienvenidos a Miami, and by โMiami,โ I mean this column, and by โbienvenidos,โ I meanโyou know what, if you claim not to understand that reference to the top jam from the late-โ90s resurgence of Will Smithโs rap career, maybe this isnโt the place for you. To the non-haters: bienvenidos, and hi! Itโs Thanksgiving! This is […]
This Too Shall Pass: The Obamas Are Our Human Sunlamps
Hi! How about the cruel joke known as daylight saving time? Old-timey farmers from the past should not be the deciders of how dark it is when I leave work. As if we needed an extra hour of November 2018! Itโs been figuratively dark for two years, but now itโs also literally dark almost all […]
This Too Shall Pass: Taylor Swift, Jared Kushnerโs Nuts… and BUNNIES!
Ahoy-hoy! Letโs kick off the week with a game of โWould You Ratherโ: Would you rather see additional in-depth reporting on Jared Kushnerโs financial dealings that truly and fully demonstrate his illegal behavior but you have to read the whole thing, including looking up terms and tax laws that you donโt understand, OR see an […]
This Too Shall Pass: Miniature Horses and Speidi Crystals
Hi, everyone! Iโm sincerely glad youโre taking time to read this biweekly documentation of one womanโs descent into madness. But weโre not dead… so thatโs… something? Every day weโre not dead is one more middle finger to all those yahoos in charge. Hey, yahoos! Weโre still here! Yes, โhereโ might be a large pillow fort […]
This Too Shall Pass: Letโs Hear It for the Women!
Hello, and welcome back to This Too Shall Pass! Not that I didnโt think youโd come back, of course. I hope youโll consider me the McRib of columns: sweet, salty, kinda gross, and yet whenever I reappear youโre like, โOkay, sure!โ Oh man, did the last two weeks kick anyone else in the rear? Remember […]
This Too Shall Pass
Whatโs up, party people, and welcome to This Too Shall Pass! My nameโs Elinor Jones, and Iโll be your news and gossip columnist for your biweekly Portland Mercury. Iโm gonna be honest with you straight out the gate: I really wish I hadnโt started with โWhatโs up, party people.โ Um, do people still say waazzzzupppppppp? […]
This Too Shall Pass: Proof That Good Things Happened in 2018
Happy New Year! Wow, 2018 sure was… a passage of time, wasnโt it? Believe it or not, 2018 was only one calendar year! And if youโre thinking, โHey, that sucked, but at least itโs over!โ keep in mind that we said the same thing about 2017 and 2016. Itโs possibleโeven plausibleโthat this is just life […]
