Scarlet Begonias 2108 NW Glisan St. 274-7926 Fine dining often comes down to the details. Sure, there are countless dining facilities capable of producing delicious, well-prepared food. But who can wrap it all up in a pretty package and present it to you as if a precious gift to a foreign dignitary? Who can make […]
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Self-Hell
Do I Have Work-Related Stress?
You can’t sleep. You’re angry. You yell at puppies and small children. It was not that long ago you used to spend all day mellow and stoned on the porch of that old punk rock house you shared with 15 of your college buddies. Now you are cantankerous and fuming. What happened? Where did you […]
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So Fresh, So Clean
Don’t Believe Me? Ask my Maintenance Guy
Flying Pie Pizzeria 7804 SE Stark 254-2016 I used to live in this crappy apartment complex in Northwest, and the live-in maintenance guy would have to come over all the time because the faucet was leaking or mold was growing on the wall, or the sliding door wouldn’t latch–but anyway, we became friends. And while […]
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Eat It
Some Restaurants That Serve Nutritious and Tasty Food
Tacos Solamenta 21st and Hoyt Tacos Solamente–the new, cute taco cart on NW 21st across from Cinema 21–is a perfect hangover companion, because the tacos are simple; tangy salsa verde (plus a bevy of marinade additions like orange juice, bay leaves, and garlic) marinated meat on a doubled-up corn tortilla. You have a choice of […]
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Hungry for a Huge Raw Clam?
Look No Further than Bush Garden
Bush Garden 900 SW Morrison Street 226-7181 Before eating at Bush Garden, I made sure that the restaurant had no affiliation with President Bush or the Bush family. Heck, these days I can’t even look a Busch beer in the eye without developing a case of the hebegebees. Not that I would drink that swill […]
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Last Supper
Soup and Soap
4236 N Mississippi 281-3926 Portland has a lot of weird fusion businesses that make no sense to me, but are nonetheless charming in that campy, Portland-business way. Dog washing and espresso, billiards and hairdressing, and the most ludicrous and hysterical–tanning and pond supplies. But then, of course, there are the completely sensible fusion businesses, such […]
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Self-Hell
Analysis for People on the Go
Am I a Closet Heterosexual? Every week, here at the Helsinki Institute, we receive dozens of hermetically sealed titanium trunks full of letters from troubled young people in the throws of personal crisis. Once confident and strapping, these young folk now tremble under the burden of a dark and terrible secret. Will their friends and […]
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Last Supper
Humpy’s Beer Butt Chicken
What follows is my personal recipe for the famous backyard entree, “Beer in the Butt Chicken,” and while some may think this is a veiled joke aimed at Gay Pride week–it’s not. If it were, I’d call the recipe “Beer in the Butt Gay Person.” As we all know, backyard grilling is one part skill […]
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Last Supper
Tacos Solamente
NW 21st and Kearney When I have a hangover, I abide by one and only rule: I treat myself to whatever I want. Feeling a little depressed? Buy some shoes. Feeling regretful? Buy some of that crazy Japanese bath stuff that turns your water into jelly… jelly bath, take me away. Feeling hungry? There are […]
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Bower’s Bakery
Bower’s Bakery
3545 SE Hawthorne, 231-0017 While I usually enjoy lunching at only the fanciest of restaurants (valet parking a must), I recently spent the last of my summer fun allowance on a highlight and wax, and my love-handled stepmother hath forbidden father from replenishing my monetary supply. I truly hope that bad karma does not befall […]
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Self-Hell
Analysis for People on the Go
Am I Philosophy-Retarded? Have you been described as “slow,” “half-witted,” or “dull”? Are you boring at dinner parties? Don’t worry. You’re not dumb. You just need to bone up on some useful philosophy references. Think you might require some tutoring? Take this simple multiple choice definition quiz and find out. Good luck! Define the following: […]
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Baan Thai
Baan Thai1924 SW Broadway (Second Floor) 224-THAI I was initially disappointed to learn that a Thai restaurant was to occupy the space formerly inhabited by the only Pakistani teahouse in this city. After all, Portland has hundreds of Thai restaurants. But after I ate at Baan Thai–and went back several times–my disappointment turned to elation. […]