Chez Machin 3553 SE Hawthorne 736-9381 Crepe places are trendy, and perhaps the trend has gone stale. I mean at most places the crepes always seem over-priced and under-filling anyway, right? Not, however, at Chez Machin, the crepe place that has finally turned me on to crepes. Running late for a Friday night obligation, my […]
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There’s A Flower in My Drink
Saucebox’s Happy Hour Is For Good Boys
by Evan James Saucebox Happy Hour 214 SW Broadway 241-3393 Many happy hour patrons are assholes by nature. They want quick service, cheap booze, and lots of food, and in return they’ll make frequent hand signals at their waiter and tip roughly eight percent. On our virgin trip to Saucebox’s happy hour, I must admit, […]
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Turn Up the Heat
Otherwise Nice Restaurant Lacks the Fire
Nuestra Cocina 2135 SE Division 232-2135 What makes you love something? I mean why do I love the show Arrested Development, or the jeans from the Gap, or the coffee from Stumptown? Simple–because they give me what I want. Why do I love certain restaurants and think others are just okay? Of course it’s ingenuity, […]
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Grandma, Grandpa, and You
When You’re Here, You’re Family
Nicola’s 4826 N Lombard 285-1119 DeNicola’s 3520 SE Powell 239-5220 Every once in a while I shirk the confines of class and taste and head out to one of those typical marinara sauce and meatball Italian joints. Who am I kidding? While I consider myself a person with good taste and some class, I’m not […]
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Warehouse Wonder
Clarklewis Lights Up Industrial Void
clarklewis 1001 SE Water 235-2294 something about the ambience of an old warehouse makes any event a bit more resonant. It’s the contrast of experiencing something new and fresh within the confines of something rundown. Theater and dance companies reside in the warehouses down in the Southeast Water Street area, and their performances take on […]
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Taco Bell Drunk, Taco Bell Sober
Walk, Don’t Run, for the Border
Taco Bell Everywhere Consuming Taco Bell while intoxicated is something like chugging a huge glass of water after awaking from seven hours of drunken sleep. We all know it’s magic. Vegetarians have, while in drunken states, been seen wolfing down steak gorditas. People who were passed out have been spotted manning the steering wheel of […]
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Know thy bartender
Drinking Advice from the Professionals
Your bartender can read you the way a dog reads a urine-soaked telephone pole–at a glance determining where you’ve been, how drunk you are already, how much money you have, if you’re out to hook up, drown your sorrows, or just in from Gresham for the evening. Since they already know you so well, here’re […]
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Portland’s Happiest Happy Hours
The best way to avoid that Devil’s hangover is to drink early and eat plenty of food–and the best way to do that is to attend one of Portland’s spectacular happy hours.
By Brian Brait, Evan James, Justin Sanders, Katie Shimer, and Marjorie Skinner Photos by Burk Jackson 820 Lounge 820 N Russell, 460-0820, Mon-Sat 5-6:30 pm Delicious food including a huge Caesar and rotating cast of soups and sandwiches for under $5, plus an abbreviated drink menu offers genius drinks for $4. Super swank, dark bar […]
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Oh Great, Now I Hate Boobs
A Breast-Lover’s Nightmare
Hooters 11995 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Hwy 646-9464 If the editors at the Mercury thought they could send me to Hooters and I would come back with a review of the food, they are insane. All I care about–all I have ever cared about since a milk allergy forced me to suck formula from a bottle– is […]
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La Hora Feliz del Andina
Worship at Andina’s Incan Temple
Andina Happy Hour 1314 NW Glisan 228-9535 Tues-Fri 4-6 pm Andina’s happy hour is something of a tease. While the components soar and delight, one gets the impression of a greater presence beyond the tidy happy hour menu. Granted, this “presence” is a well-staffed kitchen sizzling, searing, and bustling within plain sight, coupled with glorious […]
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Ripe Rules
Secretive Eatery is a Buried Treasure
Ripe 722 W Page ripe@ripepdx.com Some people get all the breaks because their parents are rich, they have a powerful last name, or they’re just dumb and lucky. And while it’s natural to be envious, it’s unnecessary, because these people live vapid, soulless lives and never experience the joy that comes along with accomplishment. Conversely, […]
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Gravy, Baby
Mississippi Does Brunch
Gravy 3957 N Mississippi 287-8800 Of any meal of the week, my most cherished is Saturday breakfast. It’s always ordered in the afternoon when I’m completely starving, then consumed at a lazy pace while drinking tons of coffee and mulling over the options for the day. Unlike the Sex and the City gals, though, who […]