I, Anonymous
Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE and leave out the names of the guilty and innocent. The views and opinions stated here are not necessarily those of the Mercury.
Dear Oregon Green Voters
[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds]
Like most Oregonians, I am less than stoked with state and local leadership. I think a fresh slate of new faces could better handle the budget crisis in the wake of the big busty bill. (It also turns out runaway inflation and Iran are quite difficult to handle, and perhaps we were a little harsh on Carter). Mamdani created an easily replicable roadmap on how to challenge the old guard. The Greens seem to come in only around election time and disappear immediately after. In a Governor’s race that will likely be decided by a razor thin margin, I cannot possibly see the benefit of supporting someone who could’ve hypothetically just challenged the incumbent in a primary contest. There’s nothing in their platform that’s Green platform that’s off the table for the Oregon dems. With ICE ramping up their cruelty, I cannot see why we as a state should jeopardize our sanctuary state status by handing the keys to the Party of Trump just to send a message that won’t be heard while Greens sit on their hands until the next cycle. DSA isn’t perfect either, but at least they found a strategy for change on the East Coast that doesn’t involve handing over important seats of power to a party with a history of denying election results.—Anonymous
I’m Ill
[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds]
Why do I do this to myself? I already feel like shit. Please leave me out of it. I don’t want any part. Imma lay down and think about why I only love you when I’m drunk.—Anonymous
Re: Tipping
[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds]
I tip, but there are clear guidelines. The tipping system has become a joke. Some food carts automatically set a default tip of 30%. Is that really acceptable?
1. Drinks: A dollar each unless it’s a specialty cocktail.
2. Self-Order: 0% or walk out
3. Pickup: 0%
4. Counter Service, Food Trucks: 0-10%
5. Delivery: 10%
6. Full Service: 15-20%
7. Full Service + You Take Care of Me: 20%+
8. “Required Tips”: I walk out. This should be illegal. Businesses that can’t be honest about their prices don’t deserve to operate.
9. I Pay Cash: Tip reduction of 3% because there are no card fees. Remember to report all cash tips on your taxes!
Of course, the owner won’t raise wages, but someone is being exploited in either case. We need more action than just asking people to empty their pockets.
> “We are splitting your tip across the entire staff.”
This violates the social contract. Public-facing restaurant staff are supposed to be tipped – nobody else. It’s illogical, but that’s tipping culture! Reaching deeper into everyone’s wallet under the guise of “fairness” is ridiculous.
The only real solution is to eliminate all tips and increase wages for restaurant workers. Force businesses to tell me what they believe their business and staff are worth. Then this whole stupid argument can end.—Anonymous
The Rest of the Story
[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds]
Hey Mitch, I would feel more comfortable with your response to the unearthed texts had they included any mention of the plight of the business owners, particularly small business owners, and citizens of downtown Portland who suffered through 181 consecutive days of protests, loss of property, loss of safety, loss of humanity that had nothing to do with the police. You state that was you then and you are a new Mitch now, even so, still nothing recognizing what they went through. Hum…..who are you really?—Anonymous
Keep I-5 Closed
[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds]
I really don’t miss the seeming 60% of you who are now having to find alternative methods to drive to/from work/home these next few weeks. My route was not impacted at all but I find myself with more space, less honks and flashing lights and speeding lunatics – that is to say – more peace each morning since I-5 closed. I know you’re all out there somewhere, sitting at different intersections, your heads in your hands, angrily lifting your feet off pedals every other second to inch closer to the (also stopped) cars in front of you, hands hovering over the horn symbol embossed on the faux(?) leather columns in between your legs… why are you in such a rush, anyway? Trying to get home in time to stare at another screen and forget who you are? Maybe work on your boredom and capacity for letting your mind wander. It’s so much more fun to drive the speed limit without you.
Any chance we can keep I-5 closed?—Anonymous