To the driver of the beat up SUV this morning, there's no need to shout expletives at me for using a marked crosswalk early in the morning. I understand having to slow your vehicle down to a stop while I'm in the middle of my crossing is a huge inconvenience for you. Obviously your driver privileges supersede my right to life, health, and not being smashed into by a 1 ton vehicle already going above the 25 mph speed limit. Fortunately state law requires that drivers stop for pedestrians to cross at all intersections, even if they are not marked. I suggest the state revoke your license and force you to take drivers ed again. Please follow the law, it's only my life vs. your convenience.

I don't want to! As a woman, in general, gas stations are already sketchy when you have to get out of the car. I don't feel safe anymore, and it also took jobs away from good people. The guys that have worked at my most frequented gas stations have been replaced by automated machines. We would always chat, they'd give my dog pets and treats, and it's people like that that make my neighborhood great! But not when I get off work, it's dark and ominous asf as I stand alone outside. I'm not trying to play the victim here- I just want to be safe. And as much as I love my city, it's not safe at night anymore in Portland, especially for a woman. I've already been harassed twice, and it's turned a mundane task like getting fucking gasoline into a whole thing where I don't feel safe at all and have to plan accordingly. I shouldn't have to have a taser in my hand while I'm trying to juggle a big smelly gas pump. I want these hard working fellas to get their jobs back, and restore my sense of, or at least the illusion of safety. And yes, I know this is going to trigger some of you piece of shit incel misogynists. Stop being fucking creeps and leave me the fuck alone.

As we approach this season of giving thanks and remembering all who've came before us, I'd like to give a special shout out to one particular individual. D.B. Cooper. 52 years ago you hijacked a plane coming out of our fair city, ransomed it and then jumped— hitting the ground with all the grace of a cement block. Probably. Or you might still be out there. I hope you are. You're the best to have ever done it. They don't just let people hijack planes anymore Coop.

I don't know whether that's the case when it comes to the FX Line or not, but I personally find riding around on that thing to be a miserable experience. The buses are slightly too cold in the winter, and waaaay too hot in the summer. Plus, an articulated bus flying down a cruddy, poorly maintained residential street, filled with pot holes, makes for one incredibly turbulent ride. Not to mention that it crosses the tracks of a freight train, which it frequently has to be diverted around, causing trips to take longer than they did before the route was modified from the original Line 2 (previously Line 4) routing. I guess it works for some people, but I feel so stressed and agitated after even just a short trip; I would have been happier if they just added more busses/trips and removed a few stops to speed up the trip. But that's just me. End rant.

Getting off the bus, I noticed you also left all your garbage as well as food scattered all over both seats. Way to go. I'd love to be there one day when, after you've been standing up for over 8 hours straight, you step on to a bus packed full of people hoping for a chance to finally rest your weary legs only to discover that the only two empty seats have been completely trashed by someone who has zero respect for other people such as yourself. Thanks again!

Settling in for an almost hour long bus ride I began to notice how pleasant my surroundings were. Everyone calm and relaxed. The bus exceptionally clean. It even smelled good. Then you got on. With your piping hot and absolutely disgusting radio active excuse of a sandwich from Subway. All the windows were closed of course as you began to eat and spill mouthfuls of veggies onto your lap (which you proceeded to swipe oh so carelessly onto the floor in a pile dead center in the middle of the isle.) Stay classy in your Ugg boots and thanks for you consideration.

Portland schools have been sit for ages. I remember a decade ago piling into a small room in a crumbling building with thirty other kids every day. Being told not to drink the water because of the lead pipes. Not to have food in our lockers because of the rats. I don't understand why people are upset schools are closed, they should be grateful we even still have teachers. I wouldn't put up with that shit for the same amount of money I'd make waiting tables.

Dear Fremont Whole Foods Self Checkout lady, Thank you so much for your rudeness as I smile and nod when you look up at me and make eye contact. Your resting bitch face and look of disgust as you look me up and down head to toe and then turn your head away with a look of disgust without even the slightest bit of acknowledgement makes me feel so good. It's not like I needed help with any of my items or anything. Instead I just decided to forgo my need for assistance. Keep up the good work! It's an absolute pleasureeee having you around!!

I miss the weekly newspaper, especially all of the gutbusting i.anonymous submittals that made my 5year phase at the old WellsFargoCenter more tolerable. Tellers & lawyer & accountants alike all got a kick out of them - along with my countless NewYorker cartoons! Thanks...I hope you can start printing your papers again.♡♡♡

As we were leaving a shopping complex, my 3-year-old decided to let loose the most epic tantrum ever, insisting on wanting to stay while we truly needed to leave. They were fighting me, using every ounce of their strength to pull away from my firm grasp in this very busy parking lot, so I in return was using all my might to keep them close to me, out of harm's way. You, whoever you are, saw a stressed-out looking mom trying to pull a very upset toddler to their car. A mom who wasn't hitting her child or yelling at them, just trying to maneuver them to their car. About ten minutes later, this toddler was happily playing away in our house when two cops knocked at our door. Utterly confused, I wondered if someone had hit my car? Nope, they said they'd received a notification about a grievance between an adult female and child in the parking lot of that complex we'd just visited! Stunned, I simply said "She had a tantrum". The cop looked sheepish and said "We thought so", and left. Given the cops' precious lack of resources, was it necessary to divert them to this mundane situation, and cause me undue stress? Did you think a child abduction was occurring in this particular parking lot in broad daylight on a very busy weekend, when it takes about 10 minutes to get out of said parking lot? Did you I was somehow abusing my child by holding their hand, so they wouldn't get hit by a car? You are a witless moron. Please mind your own business!

The store is packed, the lines are endless. You have a full grocery cart and all your reusable bags are filthy. And then you stand there, watching me scan and bag all your stuff. You remark how busy the store is, how tired everyone must be, how hard everyone must be working- and then you just stand there. :::sigh:::: Please- Wash your reusable bags. Please- Lend a hand bagging. (If you’re older or have kids with you, you get a pass.) Happy Holidays.

Pay attention! So many people sauntering leisurely through crosswalks looking at their phones. That's Darwinian asf. Special shoutout to the Mom carrying a very small baby, walking very slowly looking down at her screen as the light turned green and she didn't even notice.

Pretty sure you were aware I was masturbating at work two weeks ago when I was in the bathroom stall. I thought I was stealthy but my feet position and dropping my phone were the giveaways (at least I thought). Anyway, I was fucking mortified and worried that you were gonna call me out. Whoever you are, thank you for that.

I have to spend two nights a week in Beaverton for my son’s soccer practice. I was excited that a Breakside just opened in downtown Beaverton, but somehow the locals found a way to make it annoying. Drunk westsiders being super loud and making it all about them. Say what you want about Portland — yep, it’s messy — but our bar/pub patrons are not look-at-me, annoying amateurs. Makes it even more pathetic that it closed at 9pm. :-/