August marked my one year blogiversary here on Blogtown, USA, and what a year it’s been! Let’s take a quick trip down memory lane and consider all the reasons you’re lucky to have me.
Your Comments Show Your Love
One of the things that surprised me when I looked back it at is how much the comments on my posts have changed. They’re way more positive, and I’m not exactly sure how to take that. Have I gotten better or have you just slowly realized I’m not going to get fired if you tell me I suck often enough?
The worst thing is not negative comments, which I could care less about. It’s when I get slammed by you and you’re actually right. So once again, sorry I talked about Star Wars vehicles and called them ATATs when they’re AT-ATs. You were right, nerds. I totally miss-punctuated that completely made up vehicle that doesn’t exist. Really, you should have been impressed I made any effort to figure out their names instead of just calling them GIANT-ROBOT-COWS-FROM-SPACE, which is what they look like.
My Favorite Moments of Year 1
* One of my first posts was my preview of the iPhone 5 which got picked up by several news outlets as if it were real. That was fun. Rest assured, my preview of the iPhone 5s will be out soon.
* My post about fluoride had an opaque enough headline that both sides of the argument clicked on it and left comments. I especially like the people who emailed me to say I hadn’t done my job as a journalist and then, when I pointed out I’m a comedian and not a journalist, actually e-mailed me back to say “Oops. My bad.”
* More recently, I sent a post to Allison about centaurs and got this e-mail back:
“But they also have a full horse digestive system from the neck down. That means they eat human food, digest it, and then poop it into their horse necks like their own human centi-steeds.” – this is the most fascinating thing i’ve read all day.
That made my day.
Some Low Points
* File not found.
When I started, Steve challenged me to not have a beat, to just write about whatever I felt like. “Nobody’s ever been able to do that for very long—but maybe you’re special.” If you want to guarantee I’ll stick to something forever, tell me that I’ll only be able to pull it off if I’m special. I’m still figuring out what’s the most fun to write about, but I’m going to be around for a while longer. Because I’m really fucking special.
could care less ≠ couldN’T care less, which is what you meant.
Anyway, did you end up supergluing those Canadian coins and jelly beans to those bowls, or what? The answer to that, i’m ashamed to say, i could care less about. (Meaning i kinda would like to know. Actually, i’m fucking dying to know. Seriously.)
I’m still working that out, @human_in_training. You’ll be the first to know.
I like how you blogged a bunch about your wedding to remind me of my own failures and further blacken my cold, dead heart. Thanks for that.
WHO THE FUCK IS ALEX FALCONE
“Falcone” sounds like the bad guy from an old Steven Seagal movie.
“Everyone knows that Falcone runs the whole North Side. How are you going to take him down? You’re just a boat cop!”
Alex, as your comedian school drop out, i am honored to say happy blogiversary buddy! I love it when you type here.
Ooooh … those are supposed to be udders hanging off the imperial walkers.
I envision the film “Falcone” much like Stallone’s Cobra. Real name, Agnellino Falconetti. Rogue cop, drives classic car. Mazda Miata or GTO, perhaps. Spouts catch phrases like “Crime’s the infection, I’m the antibiotic cocktail that will slowly cure it over the course of 7-10 days.”
Why not a title like “Falcon,” you (likely do not) say? The extra e is the catch, the hook. Hey, other movies have been made on less of a premise.
Oh, and also nice blog job, Alex!
I’ll take Potent Potables for $100, Alex.
Actually, have a potent potable yourself; thanks (along with all the other Merc staff) for the free content you provide us dum-dums.