Oregon City: The home of white settler Dr. John McLoughlin.
West Linn: The home of white basketballer Steve Blake.
Oregon City: Their motto is urbs civitatis nostrae prima et mater (first and mothertown of our state).
West Linn: Has no motto because they are too stupid to speak Latin.
Oregon City: Home of the awesome Clackamette Skatepark.
West Linn: Home of the not-so-awesome West Linn Rollerblade-a-Rama.
Oregon City: Free trolley rides for all.
West Linn: Free mustache rides from creepy guy in Ford Taurus parked by the paper factory.
Oregon City: Been kicking ass and taking names since 1829.
West Linn: Was partially destroyed by a fire in 1861. John McLoughlin did it… from beyond the grave.
Oregon City: Over 30,000 residents, all of them hung like horses.
West Linn: You can wed your sister there, and it’s totally legal.
Oregon City: Paper manufactured here goes on to become the Bible—the greatest book of all time.
West Linn: Paper manufactured here goes on to become the Mercury—Portland’s fifth best sex trade newspaper.
Oregon City: They named a goddamn state after it.
West Linn: Linn is totally a girl’s name.
Really, this is a good example of comedy failure.
This is a ‘feature’?
Haha, yeah, they feature the best, don’t you know?
Onetime state capital or not, Oregon City has always been and will always be the Shelbyville to West Linn’s Springfield.
Oh, and West Linn is clearly superior in the oldest high school football rivalry west of the Mississippi. I guess spoiled rich kids are good for something…
Hear that, Mercury? WHAT’S WITH NO MENTION OF THE OLDEST FOOTBALL RIVALRY WEST OF THE MISSISSIPPI?!?! YOU’RE BURYING THE LEAD!!!!
Ahem. That should be “Oregon City vs. West Linn Which Is MORE Superior?” Christ, who edits this thing?
You are right about one thing: Oregon City is superiorer than West Linn.
Author clearly from Oregon City. Dip Shit.
Well, I can tell you the people of West Linn have no souls! It’s true! I dated the son of a known car dealer in Gladstone and one year at Christmas when I was invited I noticed that not a single one of them, including my now ex casted a reflection in any mirrors! So yes! It is true! The people of West Linn are EVIL and they will suck the life force out of you if they are in close vicinity of your being! The only protection you have against them is holy water, crucifixes, garlic, and a stake through the heart. But be sure that after you drive that stake through their hearts, you cut off their heads, stuff their mouths with garlic and burn the bodies so they don’t come back to life! We must protect ourselves from the vampires of West Linn!
This is what you guys get up to at Club 21? Fantastic!