9 replies on “I Can’t Believe I Missed Pro-Life Cupcake Day!”

  1. Didn’t they get the memo that cupcakes have jumped the shark? Also, those are really shitty cupcakes, no way those will compete with even the most basic cupcake amateur-cum-pros.

  2. Just realized that “amateur-cum-pros” really doesn’t sound like what I intended, especially in the context of frosted cupcakes.

    What I meant, of course, was upstart fancy cupcake makers.

  3. Yes, yes. It is much better to have the child be born into the ICU of the hospital and die a couple weeks later than to abort it. That way it can be baptized before it dies, otherwise it will have original sin and go straight to hell.

  4. Except: LDS doesn’t believe in original sin. Unbaptized children under 8 are automatically saved according to LDS.

    Hmm, well there goes that theory…

  5. “Because not every child is allowed to have a birthday.”

    I think they mean Jehovah’s Witnesses. Those poor JW children… I hope the bake sale helps.

  6. Wait, so you have to eat (consume, destroy) a cupcake labeled life? Isn’t that sort of mixing up the symbolism a little?

    And really, if birthdays are the concern here, they should really be going after the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Those cats never get any birthdays.

  7. Hey kids, you want a birthday? You can have mine from last year. I got smashed on rotgut vodka, sucker-punched by a bouncer at a titty bar, and broke two teeth after I fell down a flight of stairs. Oh yeah, and I barfed all over my girlfriend’s car. She left soon after. Birthdays. Who needs ’em?

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