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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND!👋
After a cloudy morning, heavy showers will move in this afternoon with a high of 52 degrees. And if this is the type of weather that depresses the fuuuuuuuuuck out of you, there is hope on the horizon thanks to the upcoming Portland Mercury PIZZA WEEK! That’s correct, get ready to sample all 70 (!) slices of creative, one-of-a-kind pizza delicacies made by your fave local chefs, and for only $4 each! And it’s all going down from April 20-26, so start stretching out your stomach NOW. And while you’re at it? Stretch out your brain for today’s NEWS.
IN LOCAL NEWS:
• Looks like the opponents of Zenith Energy—which includes a LOT more people than you might think—aren’t going down without a fight. Local environmental advocates delivered a letter to Mayor Keith Wilson’s office yesterday, rejecting the process and results of the city’s investigation into the dangerous oil transfer company. You may recall that Portland City Council passed a resolution in early 2025 demanding that the Mayor investigate whether the Houston-based fossil fuel company violated city law when it constructed and used new pipes over the course of three years. In their letter, advocates said the investigation was tainted by conflicts of interest, was too narrow in scope, and omitted information relevant to the case. So will the Mayor’s office listen to these very reasonable complaints, or simply tell worried Portlanders “thanks for your input” and dump the letter into the recycling? Our Jeremiah Hayden has the details.
• The latest news from the team working to replace the I-5 bridge between Portland and Vancouver? The project’s on, annnnd… it’s going to be very expensive. The full project is now expected to cost around $14.4 billion (!!), though project leaders are assuring Oregon and Washington residents that the massive price tag is a problem for another date. For now, the IBR construction plan has been pared down to include a less expensive “core set of projects.” But is that just kicking the can down the road? Our Taylor Griggs breaks it all down for you in this excellent article from the Mercury’s Transportation issue, on the streets now!
• With less than a month away from their season opener, our new WNBA team, the Portland Fire, picked up three additional players in last night’s 2026 draft—though instead of plucking their choices from the college circuit, the Fire chose two international players. Iyana Martin Carrion from Spain and Germany’s Frieda Buhner were the two European picks, with the Fire’s third round pick going to Taylor Bigby, a one-time U of O freshman that later played for Texas Christian University. The Fire then traded Bigby for UConn’s Sereh Williams. And while the crowd may have been somewhat underwhelmed by the decision to forego more college stars, the front office is asking fans to “trust the process,” promising that eventually we’ll be happy with the results.
• Congrats to our Portland Trail Blazers who decapitated the Sacramento Kings on Sunday, 122-110. This snagged them a coveted eighth seed position, which gives them two more chances to catapult into the NBA playoffs and at least one postseason home game. One of those chances comes tonight as they play the Phoenix Sun, who are ranked seventh in the Western Conference. Let’s GOOOOOOOO! (Our Nolan Parker has the deets.)
• Looking for stuff to do this week? Then do this first: Check out the best damn entertainment calendar in town, Do This, Do That! In this week’s cornucopia of fun stuff: Oklou delivers soothing French vocals, Making Earth Cool pregames for Earth Day with a screening of archival nature films, and Moment’s new thing is a regional woodwind conference. Plus, zinester supreme Nicole J. Georges comes through with some much-needed self-help, and it’s John Waters’ 80th fucking birthday!
IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:
• As more and more Americans are becoming disenchanted with Trump’s inexplicable war against Iran, the two sides appear to be drifting further apart in their peace talks. The primary sticking points include the reopening of the Strait of Hormuz and Tehran’s nuclear capability, and because Vice President JD Vance’s weekend attempts to secure an agreement fell flat on its face, there seems to be little hope for future talks which are being set up for later this week. Meanwhile the US’s blockade of the strait isn’t helping matters, as oil prices continue to skyrocket with gas prices (even here in Portland) are solidly over $5 per gallon, and fears of a worldwide economic downturn are getting closer to reality.
• Former Democratic golden boy, California Rep. Eric Swalwell, announced he is planning to resign from Congress and end his run for the governor’s seat amid sexual assault and misconduct allegations. In a released statement, Swalwell acknowledged he had made mistakes in his past while also denying at least some of the charges leveled against him. Swalwell had been accused of sexually assaulting a staffer twice while she was too intoxicated to consent (the charges he denies), while two other women claimed he had sent them photos of his penis, and yet another said the congressman had kissed her without permission. The Manhattan district attorney’s office announced it will be opening an investigation into the sexual assault claims. Meanwhile, Texas Republican Tony Gonzalez also announced he would be stepping down from Congress, after acknowledging he engaged in an extramarital affair with a member of his staff… who later tragically died after setting herself on fire.
• Trump continues his futile attempts to backpedal away from his recent social media post in which he depicted himself as a Christ-like figure, now saying that he thought it depicted him as “a doctor,” rather than Jesus. 😂 The posting has ignited a hilarious firestorm within the MAGAverse, particularly among his Christian supporters, but also famous Trump minion and transphobe Riley Gaines who bellowed “God will not be mocked!” (Gaines and MAGA’s followers mock god with their very existence—but I suppose that’s an argument for another day.) Meanwhile, Pope Leo XIV had his own words for the president after he was attacked by Trump for daring to criticize the war against Iran. “I have no fear of the Trump administration,” the Pope replied, “or speaking out loudly of the message of the Gospel, which is what I believe I am here to do.” So does this mean we’re finally going to get the Trump/Pope cage match we’ve been praying for?
• In entertainment news, at least part of the crowd at the famous Coachella concert were baffled this past weekend when Justin Bieber took to the stage, and for a full 30 minutes of his set, played YouTube videos of some of his classic songs on the big screen as he sang along. (Whaaaaaat….) Bieber, who was reportedly paid $10 million for his two headlining gigs, scrolled through the old videos on a Mac placed on the side of the stage, and crooned along to only snippets of such classics as “Baby,” “Never Say Never,” and others, while giving the full sing-along treatment to his newer material including 2025’s Swag and Swag II. HMMM! If he gets $10 million for that, maybe I could get at least $1 million for my karaoke version of Gwen Stefani’s “Holla Back Girl”?
And finally… me, trying to stay awake for the entirety of Tuesday.
