You know what, folks? I DON’T LIKE ‘EM. Poinsettias don’t look “real” to me, they’re kind of ostentatiously ugly, and their name is hard to spell and reminds me of poison. Why is this the official holiday plant? FUCK A POINSETTIA.

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But how do you feel?

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

2 replies on “Poinsettias: CONDEMN OR ALLOW?!?”

  1. I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, when I inspect them individually I think they’re attractive – they’re all red, and I can’t tell if I’m looking at leaves or flowers or what. On the other hand, they are everywhere, and in some places they have replaced other pretty plants in public planters (where did those other plants go? are they dead now?). And on the other buttcheek, they also come in white.

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