“I’m an unmarried heterosexual woman,” writes Jamie Frevele, on eBay. “And since I probably won’t be using my right to get married, I would like to give it away. I would like to sell it to the highest bidder and donate the proceeds to an organization that supports LGBT rights since the government designed to protect all of us is picking and choosing based on what they think is icky, weird, or unkown to them.”
- Bids end in three days!
In the mean time, if you’re interested in a marriage prospect but that’s a bit political for you, why not buy a “date” with all the Mercury‘s unkempt, unwashed boys*. Currently going for the inappropriate price of…what?! $51?! I don’t even get out of bed for $51. Christ.
- Bids never really end, since most of us are also highly-paid gigolos. But technically, bids end in 2 days, 11 hours.
*some of us are actually kept, washed. But truth in advertising, you know. I’d hate for you to be disappointed.
All auction proceeds go to Outside In! Still, that just sounds desperate at this point. I know.
I’m not sure why exactly you’d pay ($51 or not) the gigolo to get out of bed, I thought the entire point was to get them into the bed. Although maybe there are some extra charges if you want them to do it in the shower or something…
Or in the yard. Or at the bowling alley. Or down the morgue. Use your imagination.
I’ve never done it with a male gigolo in a morgue. Is that included in the Mercury auction?
Okay, apparently a “morgue” is also the place where back issues of newspapers are kept. I’ve never done it with a male gigolo there either, but I imagine the Mercury would have access to that, (much more so than the more common type of morgue full of dead bodies.)
You’d be surprised.
Access to dead bodies is not the problem around here, it’s getting rid of them. (this comment is not helping our auction is it? sorry.)