What follows are the official titles of the short, sweet, and absolutely FILTHY amateur porn flicks you’ll see at HUMP! 2013 this year! (Thanks to everyone who entered!) And by the way… HAVE YOU BOUGHT YOUR TICKETS TO HUMP YET? Screenings are selling out quick, so get on the stick!

YOUR HUMP! 2013 LINEUP OF FILMS

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Huh. Sounds interesting! GET YOUR TICKETS NOW.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)