I'd hire a disgraced ex-mayor as my top bro. I'd release the hounds on my own people agitating for justice. I'd okay gobs of million-dollar lawsuit payouts to cover brutality and abuse. I'd consult only with the Pearly peeps, business brohemes, and landed gentry to cobble policy. I'd portray a proven community leader as a scary, mouthy radical to win reelection. I'd employ fear to prevent recall. I'd do prezactly nothing to resolve poverty, houselessness, and decay in my city. I'd reward my thuggish security forces with even more bags o' tax money. Then I'd go full-on AWOL until I can slink away and become that rarest of all forest animals, the highly paid white male political consultant. Yesseree Bob, that's what I'd do.