Dear Japanese tourists,
Welcome to Portland. I’m honored that you’ve chosen our city as your vacation destination, however I would like to address one little thing; do not fucking insult us in Japanese. Some of us Portlanders, like myself, speak it quite fluently. I understand that I’m white as a sheet and don’t look like it, but I understood all the crass shit you said about me. When you said my ass is huge, and you wanted to get lost in my crack, I understood that. When you said that I look like a cow and you wanted to drink my milk, I fucking understood that, too. You’re rude as hell and that’s why I called you out by the bus stop near Powell’s. That look of utter shock on your face when you realized I understood you was absolutely priceless, and I could tell you were embarrassed as fuck. Good. I’m glad. And I’d be happy to call you out again if call me a dumb American (ばかアメリカン) again. Here’s a suggestion, be a good little tourists, shove a voodoo doughnut into your mouth and unless you need directions, leave us the hell alone. 私はあなたの無礼が好きではありません!!! 日本に帰る!!!
Maybe your green velour track suit made you look like a giant assed Godzilla with voluptuous milk engorged lactating udderesque mammaries.
By the way, your grammar is wrong in that last sentence if you meant it to be an imperative.
Well, at least you can be calmed by remembering that no amount of hate you have for them will be equal to the hate they have for themselves.
Isn’t it bad enough for them they actually chose PDX to wallow around in for their “vacation”? You need to shatter their serenity too?
An honest to god vacation in a foreign land should always involve being able to insult the natives without them knowing it.
I was sitting on a Tokyo subway many years ago and encased in human flesh so tightly that my neck cramped because my head was turned at a slight angle when the wave of commuters flooded the train so quickly and completely it was as if i was embedded in amber.
My canadian travel partner sitting next to me was equally forked. His nose was rammed into the groin of a japanese lady about twice his age. I heard him squeak something about how the lady wasn’t wearing any panties. In english of course.
I think you mis-spoke in your japanese writing….
Did you mean to say “You go back to Japan” instead of “I go back to Japan”?
If you’re as white as a sheet they probably thought you were a hungry ghost.