Dear arcade-o-philes—I understand the rigors of my job. If I didn’t, I probably would not have applied to be a porn store clerk. I know you’re sexually frustrated. I listen day after day to your strange excuses and failed attempts to convince me that you are a completely normal member of society. The punch line is that I don’t care. I don’t care that your wife won’t fuck you in the ass with a strap-on, and I don’t care that because of the recession, you can only go to my porn store four nights a week instead of six. I’m sure outside of work we could be fast friends, but when you start a conversation with, “So, do you ever suck cock in the booths?” it puts a damper on the “getting to know you” stage. Please, Mr. Arcade Cruiser, stop propositioning me at work. I’m only here because I need a job, I don’t want to watch you and some obviously married man jack each other off. I’m not aiming this at all arcade goers, just the select few who can’t grasp that I’m not gay and don’t need sexual offers from creepy men on a daily basis… thank you.—Anonymous
I, Anonymous
Don’t Jerk the Clerk
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This is the best IA you could get this week Merc? This person should get a job at a Plaid Pantry. Is he seriously surprised that this is happening at a Porn Shop?
God damn Portland is full of losers.
Normal perverts probably assume, reasonably so, that you have a job in a porn shop for the very purpose of encountering that kind of stuff.
Maybe trade jobs with frustrated grocery store clerk?
And whats up with that drawing, Kalah? It doesn’t have anything to do with the story.
haha good stuff. plaid might be better – same pay, i assume and probably better benefits.
Maybe he should swap jobs with that other dude who hates it when people try to speak Spanish in his taco shop.
maybe the guy is a pastor or priest. got tons of oppressed sexual tensions.
Retire this and savage’s column. Stale.
Regardless of the job… we don’t get paid to get hit on. Regardless of the content of the job… that is not why we are there. Just because we sell sex toys and make change for wackers doesn’t mean shit. Oh and by the way I HAVE worked at Plaid and my benefits now are better.