Hey, Germ Freak working on the second floor of my office building: I
feel ya. I don’t like touching bathroom door handles, either. And
though you waste an obscene amount of paper managing this disorder, I
can forgive you for that, too. But after you use the paper towel to
open the door, so that your precious little hands never make indirect
contact with some other dude’s dirty dong—could you please stop throwing crumpled wads of paper on the floor? Think about it:
Don’t you have to open the door to your office after you leave the
bathroom? The same door all those filthy cock fondlers also handle?
This is a place of business, but where is it okay to drop your detritus
into a mounting pile on the floor? Apparently where only people with
very clean penises work.—Anonymous
I, Anonymous
A Touching Plea
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I’d like to post this in all the public bathrooms in the city. There sure are a bunch of lazy slobs out there who toss their paper towels on the ground.
Put a trash can by the door!
I second the recommendation for TC by the door. Obvious move. Also, anonymous is much too unhygienic to realize that I either use something other than my bare clean hand to open my office door or I sanitize them upon return to my desk with a personal bottle of sanitizer. Hey anonymous shit hands, guess who never gets sick? You ever hear of swine flu ?
Given the opportunity, I’d like to point out the frequent misspelling of the plural form of penis.
It’s penes.
Not penises, and not penii. Penes [pee-knees].
“penises” is a legitimate plural, penes. Check the fucking dictionary.
put a trash can by the door…also, sounds like “anonymous” likes fondling “filthy cocks”.
Wow relax with the spelling shit, unlike French, English is a very flexible language that allows us to use suffixes and prefixes to create new and wonderful words while still being grammatically right.
Beyond that we are able to create new words using;
Noun to verb conversions where you can use a noun to create a verb (as in hammer; He is going to use the hammer (n.) which becomes, He is going to hammer).
You can also use verbs to create nouns as in (Fucks (n); Where “He fucks (v.) becomes he doesn’t give a fuck. (n.))
There are many many more wonderful things that you can do with the English language and still be right. I just wish that all of these applepolishers would let go of all that bullshit that they learned in elementary school and do whatever the fuck they want…
Applepolishers hah! That is what is called a compound noun, where I took 2 nouns and made one out of it. Very fun, no?