Credit: Illustration by Kalah Allen

I’m not the cleanest of peopleโ€”I know and admit this. But I didn’t think I’d ever have this type of problem. My sister, whom I live with, just told me that she’s late. We’ve been roommates for over a year and we talk often. She’s had trouble with dating and so have Iโ€”so be it. Okay, so when I pleasure myself, sometimes I have to take a shit afterโ€”like that one bowling movie with Bill Murray, whatever. Recently, I remember dropping a load, then sitting on the toilet to take a dump and having a shower afterward. My fear is that I might have left some drops of splooge on the toilet, and when she sat down after my shower… fuck, I don’t know if she could have gotten pregnant from it.

When she told me she was late, I thought nothing of it, but then, the day after, while engaging in my daily routine, I noticed that I did leave cum on the seat. That’s when it clicked, and when the fear struck. I thought it over for a day or two, and now I’m getting freaked. I know she hasn’t dated anyone in a few monthsโ€”so what else could it be? Do I tell her? How could I? If I wait too long and my suspicion proves to be true, then it’ll be even worse. But if I tell her now, it will just be a fucking disgusting thing to tell your sister… but at least she could go get tested or something. This is some fucked-up shit.โ€”Anonymous

6 replies on “I (May Have) Impregnated My Sister”

  1. I impregnated my sister last year and we had the baby this past July. We named the child after my great grandfather, who was conceived on an outhouse seat.

  2. Wow! It’s *so* awesome to be a woman in Portland based on the last couple I, Anonymous posts. SheBop will now carry chastity belts. Keep your lady parts weird, Portland!

  3. For anyone trying to convince the Portland Public Schools bureaucracy of the need for more and better sex ed, this pathetic letter should be Exhibit A.

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