You people who get on the hook up ads whats up with you.Am always hooking up,daily,cuz I am a Lover of Life.And it nearly killed me!I had what it seemed to be the perfect fit 4 the weekend,a woman who wasn’t afraid to have underwater sex with headphones on,and experiment with dolphins while at it.Where are the wild girls at!We went deep,so so deep,we took designated parts of our wet suits off,and got it on.As I began to play with her cocouse of selfish sushi I saw the eyes bug out completely.I immediately thought it was because we handt yet gotten around to petting with the dolphin,which Lovingly I called “Floppy”(we had its owners consent,dont go Peta on me) but the eyes kept bugging,of course,it must be my Super Giver Orgasm Powers.The signs of approval began to come in waves of rapidness of the future mechanical Surf of the Willamette River,we took eachothers wet suits completely off,but we kept the oxygen tanks,and the thumbs up sign kept on coming like comets.I,Giver of Underwater Supreme Orgasms.Flippy appeared,and he joined the fun,tho I didnt know what the fuck he was saying.In the mist of a scientific revelation I lost sight of my partner for the day and rode Floppy into the sunset all night until we reached shore.I kissed Flipy only to find my partner parting ways and cursing.For the love of the fucking god,why cant I have one stands that last more than one date?Dammit.She never came back,either to kiss Flippo,either to say goodbye.I want a new girl,now.Email me 😉
Identity Underwater Crisis
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I’m confused: was the dolphin named “Flippy” or “Floppy”?
Am confused too, Dmitrir. At one point it seems like the guy is saying he wants one night stands that lasts more than one night, that`s an oxymoron.
If Leaky can’t translate this, we should probably just give up.
I deduced that by what he wrote, it seemed that way to me. Of course I could be wrong about it.
Dear Mercury Editorial Staff,
If you don’t make this the I, Anonymous that you run in the print edition this week, I will cancel my subscription.
I think this must be the ultimate blog post here. Nobody will top this. Might as well retire the blog.
My word! Does that mean there’s someone who owns a dolphin named Floppy/Flippy/Flippo available for underwater-fish-fetish-sex romps in the Willamette??