So I am out on 99 coming into town (Newberg). I hit heavy traffic right before Dundee. There is a huge merge and people do not understand how a zipper works. So I try to merge and no one will let me in. Like each time with a different entity, I get snubbed. So I pull ahead. As I am looking for my opportunity. A gentleman Yells at me “Way to go Asshole!” I laugh thinking your the assholes that won’t let me in. My kids are in the back seat “Daddy why is that man yelling at us?” “Well kids people get stressed out because they hate traffic and react like idiots.” “You should punch him in the face Daddy.” “No kids that would be me reacting to something stupid too.” But on the inside, oh on the inside I was doing just that.

14 replies on “Zipper Merge”

  7. The zipper merge is a bunch of bullshit. When cars from two lanes occupy one lane, the car in the back inevitably has to slow down in order to create the safe driving space between cars. And this asshole was just trying to cut past a bunch of stopped cars.

  12. THREE DOWNVOTES? You fuckers! The zipper merge, like communism, is great if you live in an idealistic utopia but is otherwise unfeasible. No one leaves enough space to merge, so the zipper merge doesn’t exist. It’s just assholes in SUVs acting like they’re more important than every other asshole in traffic.

  14. Its pretty fucking simple simpletons. Wait for the lane to end, then take turns. Merging early or driving down the center of both lanes only makes the backup worse. I have to deal with a bunch of Clark county assholes who cut through the overlook neighborhood every day so they can jump ahead of the other self centered Washingtonian jerks who are stuck on !-5 for their hour long commute back to Vantucky. Fuck you, you bunch of fucking idiots. I hope the interstate bridge falls in the Columbia with you on it.

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