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TOTALLY LEGIT

RE: “Fair Trade Fatties: Introducing the Cannabis Certification Council: Prefer to Support Fair Trade Coffee? You Can Soon Do the Same with Weed” [Cannabuzz, Jun 14], not a request for weird weed spam, but an article in which pot columnist Josh Jardine discussed the possibility of adapting fair-trade systems used by the coffee industry to apply to cannabis. “Once again, Oregon is taking the lead in important cannabis work with the formation of a new third-party certification nonprofit, the Cannabis Certification Council (CCC),” he wrote. “The group is the result of a merger between Denver’s Organic Cannabis Association and the Portland-based Ethical Cannabis Alliance.”

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Terrymorgan237

You guys, the above listed comment seems TOTALLY legit, and you should order, like, POUNDS from this guy. Especially the Kenya strains.

Josh Jardine


WELL, ACTUALLY, EVERYONE CARES ABOUT POP MUSIC AND THE BEACH

RE: “Fox News Commentator: ‘Gay People Only Care About Pop Music and the Beach’” [Blogtown, June 16], in which Editor in Chief Wm.™ Steven Humphrey rightly lambasted the dummies at Fox News who ACTUALLY SAID THAT ON TELEVISION IN 2017. Humphrey included a highly scientific poll to prove them wrong, and concluded that, indeed, pretty much everyone likes Top 40, which doesn’t appreciate being used to Trojan-horse conservatives’ hateful views.

I am a cisgender, heterosexual, white, middle-aged male. I like pop music and the beach. I am also an actor with over 30 years in the theater (including musicals). I guess that makes me gay? I dunno.

Let me know when y’all decide, I’ll be on the beach with my headphones on sipping a mai thai while reclining on my beach chair.

Tommyspoon


IS IT JUST ME?

RE: “Birthday Orgy” [The Party Review, June 14], D. Martin Austin’s column about... exactly what it sounds like.

Is it just me, or do others find food at bodily fluid festivities mildly off-putting?

pollo


PLEASE DON’T

RE: “Good Morning, News: A Botched Rape Investigation, Sessions Takes the Stand, and Trump Might Fire Special Prosecutor” [Blogtown, June 13], the Mercury’s daily morning roundup of urgent news items, in this case written by News Editor Dirk VanderHart.

I’ve been hoping to read something here about all these robberies of local bars....

pork chop

RE: “Good Morning, News: The Pride Issue, Nike Layoffs, and Donald Trump Is Under Investigation” [Blogtown, June 15] the Mercury’s daily morning roundup of urgent news items, in this case written by News Reporter Doug Brown.

I am still hoping to see some information about the recent string of bar robberies.

pork chop

Jesus fucking Christ, pork chop! If you have an actual news tip for us, you can email it to news@portlandmercury.com. The comments are for giving us your musical theater history, like Tommyspoon, or spamming us with your ~*totally legit*~ weed offers, like Terrymorgan237. They are not a place to passive-aggressively tell us what you are “still hoping to see” us cover. This is like wanting a pizza but instead of ordering one, writing “I wish you were a pizza” in Sharpie on every piece of mail that arrives at your house. Stop it! Don’t do this! Cool it!

Oh, and we’re giving Letter of the Week to pollo, because in the cesspool that was the comments this week, pollo at least brought some levity and genuine curiosity to their letter. Confidential to pollo: Please enjoy two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, where you can escape the idiocy of the internet. Take us with you?