THE ELUSIVE OIL SLICK
RE: Something about women’s fashion that could be compared to an “oil slick.” Leggings? We’re not sure.
DEAR EDITOR—Do Portland women really think they look good wearing an oil slick? If I wanted to look at the outlines of butt cracks and female genitalia, I’d go to the chimpanzee exhibit at the Oregon Zoo: At least theirs are orange. Bring back bell bottoms and bare navels. The combination is feminine, and gives the illusion of longer legs.
Brian Allan Cobb
STATES OF DUALITY
RE: My, What a Busy Week! [Aug 20], in which we suggested attending the Oregon State Fair as one of our top entertainments picks of the week.
HI—In last week’s paper, a columnist suggested going to Salem to see the state fair. Instead of spending the considerable time and fuel expense for a trip south, why not go eight miles north and see the fair in Vancouver, Washington? I am sure that this fair has most/all the variety of exhibits, rides, [and] food that Salem offers. Also, if you take some time to plan, you can do the whole trip on mass transit.
Kent Livingston
LITTLE BOXES
RE: “One Small Step” [News, Aug 20], regarding Mayor Charlie Hales’ interest in tiny houses as a potential solution for homelessness.
Don’t be fooled, those tiny houses will end up costing exponentially more with union labor and cost overruns. They are cooler than shit, but this plan, if implemented, will be nothing more than just another boondoggle.
posted by Dread Uptown
FUZZY
RE: “Here Come the Coppers” [News, Aug 20], regarding law enforcement backing a campaign against marijuana legalization in Oregon.
What?! Cops against legalizing weed?! How else will they justify their existence without old Mary Jane to harass and malign? How about you laughable dinosaurs get with the times and realize you are all hopelessly out of touch with reality. Weed is going to be legal nationally by 2020 and there is nothing you can do about it. Let it go, already. Concede your defeat and move on to things that actually matter.
posted by David A. Pope
PETLESSNESS
RE: The Mercury‘s X-Treme Pet Issue! [Feature, Aug 20], our second annual special feature dedicated just to our animal friends!
DEAR MERCURY—The Pet Issue was one of the best ever. Not for the usual reasons—the latest in Portland news and the arts, intelligently chosen, skillfully written, and archly delivered, some of it laugh-out-loud funny, oddly and successfully mixed with occasional glints of heartwarming sincerity and unusual insight, not to mention Ian Karmel and the best comics—but because rather than having to examine it all carefully as I typically must, you spared me that in the middle of a crazy, information-overloaded, crisis-haunted week. I couldn’t spend more than a second on the cover without the frightful contortions of my face threatening to become fixed, and since innumerable pets and their insufferable owners all overpopulating, consuming everything in sight and turning it into shit, and ruining the earth are one of my mostest pet peeves, the rapid turning of pages cooled me off nicely in the heat and humidity, I saved invaluable time, and the refreshment of doing nothing useful for a while pointed my life back in the direction of sanity. Yes, in practically no time at all I was done, and could move on to other, more productive things, like chewing down an edible and comprehending the nature of the universe, or at least my miraculous fingernails, and fixing my bicycle. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the breather. Now go back to filling my head with essential information, but please, once in a while, continue to say a lot about something really stupid. You might call it fair and balanced.
Tattooless Steve
NO TATTOOS and you hate pets? How many Portland stereotypes can a single man defy?! We’re giving you this week’s Mercury letter of the week, since emotional detachment from other living beings, like pets, is usually a warning sign. Take these two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, sir, where there are no pets allowed!
RE: ‘LITTLE BOXES’ by Dread Uptown,
True one should be skeptical of any housing plan for the homeless introduced by a mayor who never once have I seen him be remotely involved in actually getting to know the homeless on these streets and who is practically best fiends with the landlord association.
I was working a job at 23rd and love joy on what they call “communal living” affordable housing units; they are isolated boxes priced at the same you could pay for a two bedroom in Gresham with a pool.
What about converting a warehouse like structure into a large room full of bunk beds? 250 bunks at $200/ month = $50,000. You’d get less than $20,000 using that same space for lower end jail cells- I mean apartments.
It may seem like a recipe for disaster accommodating so many in one space but my experience has led me to instead see that people are products of their environment and in a humane living situation tend to share with each other and get along. It happens every night in countless missions across the country, only difference is missions subject grown men to curfews, enforced chapel services, all-day lines, and disrespect.
From experience, I know people on the streets- who often do not have family- would gladly sacrifice privacy (a.k.a. isolation) for a sense of community, an affordable place to store your stuff, sleep when you want, and a place to be during the day.
Even students may like it- school (mixed with life) led me to being homeless a time or two and I can attest that living in a cheap box (apartment) and having nothing but book work to do and too little time for the working world is not a psychologically healthy set-up.
RE: Brian Allan Cobb
Don’t know what an oil slick is but I think your talking about what I call smurf pants and elf boots; they are NOT sexy ladies… some guys seem to like them but I miss towns where women dress in some well fit and bright colored t-shirts, jeans, and tennis shoes.
-Eric