ANN ROMANO: WHAT’S THE POINT, P?

DEAR MERCURY—being a newbie to P [What?—Eds.], I have been reading all the free weekly lit to get a feel for things. After reading several of Ann Romano’s columns [One Day at a Time, weekly], my question is: What is the point in rehashing the weekly disasters that befall the usual suspects—KK, LL, CS, et al.? Don’t we get enough of that shit every day in EVERY media? Her singular talent seems to be raiding the thesaurus to use a different adjective every time she trashes one of her regular losers. What’s the point?     

-barry newbie 

HOW DO YOU KNOW IT’S NOT A 16-YEAR-OLD CAT?

DEAR MERCURY—I know that freedom of speech prevails for all, but to publish a valentine from someone who is claiming they are 46 to their 16-year-old “love” is pretty damn sick [“Mercury Readers’ Valentines,” Feature, Feb 10″]!! I do not understand the thinking behind publishing this one. I know you have editors who are educated and I would hope have a sense of right and wrong, but to let this one pass is wrong! Please do not advocate this kind of crap!

-C

P MUSIC SUCKS

DEAR MERCURY—[A] hipster is a fan of bad indie music, which this town produces in mass. The Chores, the Shaky Hands, all flavor-of-the-month bands soon to be forgotten. And the old respected acts are a joke; Pavement imitated Too Much Joy, but the latter was funnier. Colin Meloy sounds like the guy from the Dead Milkmen. The Thermals, yuck, they make Green Day seem like Surreal Dadaists. The rest of the PDX scene wants to be King Missile. Yet there was not a review of the best album of the last decade: I Killed the Zeitgeist by Nicky Wire. It figures he towers over all the indie mediocrity your music critics worship.

-P Jacks

COOL VIBES AT DIAMOND DARCY’S

DEAR MERCURY—Reading your shithole newspaper while enjoying a diner-style breakfast at Diamond Darcy’s, I had to laugh (at you and your readers referring to Darcy’s as “a sad, sad place “) [“82nd vs. Lombard,” Feature, Jan 20]. Having enjoyed most of PDX’s great restaurants, I can safely say Heather at Darcy’s is hands down the best server in Portland. Not because of her efficiency or whatever, but because of how happy she makes you feel to be there. Hell, I even know her name! It’s a cool vibe having breakfast at Darcy’s. I think the reason you are sad when you go there is because the zombies in the back video poker room remind you too much of your digital iPhone thumbsucking. I guess when they feature Darcy’s in the fourth season of Portlandia you will kill yourself then. Because you’ll realize all you can do is talk shit on what’s cool and like what’s lame.

-rmiddlehouse

OKAY FINE, we will stop making fun of Diamond Darcy’s. Shit! Rmiddlehouse, you win two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, which is yet another of PDX’s great restaurants with “cool vibes.” Dork.

7 replies on “LETTERS TO THE EDITOR”

  3. Well Barry I have 20 free minutes buddy, i’ll help you out! Basically I have pondered this myself over the years and have come up with the following theories
    1)some how, the Mercury thinks its actually funny and or some type of parody. I have heard people say “it’s the funniest thing ever” or “it’s the funniest thing in the Mercury”. Unfortunately, the aforementioned people were, well, mentally disabled. You know, morons.
    2)An established trend in entertainment is to crack on celebrities in order for unimportant fuggly and probably pudgy losers to feel better about themselves. I never quite ascribed to this theory as even the lamest of celebrities have a better life than most of us ever will
    3)It’s a Communist plot! Oh, you idiots thought they went away? Ha! (I have no proof of this, just throwing it out there)
    4)While Ms Romano may write like a 16 yr old, I can assure you she is not. Having seen her in person you want to tack on 25 yrs or so, if I’m any judge of horseflesh. I think the column is a charity case for a underachieving bitter spinster ( the imaginary husband bit is way too long in the tooth…I mean come ON, what self respecting man is named Kip? (Kip Winger excluded, although Ms Romano probably fantasizes shes “only 17” ……sad)
    And of course the answer is 1 and 4. Well Barry, welcome to “P” and make sure you post lots and lots of things about cyclists (good or bad, who cares). I’m out

  6. @ Collective Compost, Ya I am both, but I am not here to pump YOU up, because you are too much of girly man. Ve are sure zat you are punishing yourself in the shower as you picture Justin Beiber. Ya?

    Nice pedo fail DamosA . Turns out you are an idiot AND a creep. Congratulations

Comments are closed.