SHUT DOWN THE SHUT DOWNS

HELLO—Please run some letters protesting the incredibly stupid decision to shut down the city for that bike race on Sunday [Bridge Pedal, Aug 10]. How many thousands of people were stuck in traffic? How many of them were trying to get to work on time? How many people were trying to get to the airport on time? To get married? How many 911 calls were delayed because of that stupid race? How many people were trying to get to the hospital? How many ambulances were stuck in that traffic? And all so that some people could play in the street? I’m sure they had a lot of fun, but they inconvenienced tens of thousands—hundreds of thousands?—of people, and the odds are that some of those people had some important shit to do.

 Barry

MIXED NUTS

DEAR MERCURY—I am no fan of Scientology [“Selling Scientology,” Feature, Aug 7], but I find it pretty absurd that people single out this group as a “cult” while attending whatever church they view as legit. I think one of the reasons people hate Scientology so passionately is because of the way it exposes what a rip-off ALL religions are. Mystical pseudo-existential musings? Check. Oppression of anyone who dares to disagree? Check. A rigid hierarchy to enforce social structures? Check. A book of often contradictory tenets treated as dogma, but completely open to subjective interpretation? Check. And a desire to get as much money and as many followers as possible, with the long-term objective of dominating the spirituality of all humans? Damn straight. I am in total agreement with people who make fun of Scientology, but when I hear a Christian or other religious pawn referring to the group as a “cult” or a “racket”—well, shit… that’s the pot calling the shamrock green, man.

G.S. Raugust

THE DISNEY PRINCESSES MUST BE STOPPED

DEAR MERCURY—We have a problem that you are uniquely qualified to help us with [“Ask a Seven-Year-Old Girl Who Doesn’t Care About Anything Except Disney Princesses,” New Column!, July 31]. We are a small medical research office that has recently hired a new receptionist/medical assistant. The problem, as you may have guessed, is that he is a 40-Year-Old Man That Doesn’t Care About Anything Except Disney Princesses. It started off small: a bright, colorful Hello Kitty mouse attached to his computer, an Aladdin mouse pad, a Little Mermaid figurine. Now, it’s out of control. The desktop is covered with dozens of Ariels and Jasmines and princesses I can’t even name. There’s a snow globe as big as a turkey. It’s hard to talk seriously to a 40-year-old man while Snow White looms over his desk. BTW, this is not a private office, or even a cubicle, but the front desk in a busy (adult) medical office. So, SYOGWDCAAEDP, how do we get the coworker to spend less time fixated on Disney princesses and more time on his job, without crushing his tender Disney spirit?

The Ugly Step Sisters

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE UGLY STEP SISTERS for their sensitivity toward their princess-obsessed coworker. May we suggest taking him to see a film that showcases more appropriate role models, such as Krull, the 1983 fantasy adventure movie in which the heroic Prince Colwyn undertakes a quest to rescue Princess Lyssa from the Black Fortress with a magic five-bladed sword. Yes, that should do the trick. As luck would have it, Krull is playing this Friday at the Laurelhurst Theater to which you have won two tickets, plus lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where everyone is treated like a princess.

7 replies on “Letters to the Editor”

  1. Barry: Okay, as long as the Mercury also publishes similar statistics about the twice-daily Vehicle Bridge Pedals and their impact on responding to all of the same. It’s only fair to compare the impacts of the various forms of transportation. Let’s see, now. One day of impact a month versus forty-four days of impact. Which could be worse? H’mm. This could take some deep thought.

    G.S: Praise be to all who make God over in their own image. And, make a fortune doing it.

    Ugly Step Sisters: Have you thought about turning this guy over to the sex crimes office? Any man, gay or not, with a fixation on little girls toys. . .

  2. Impact of the “twice-daily Vehicle Bridge Pedal”? You mean like a functioning local economy? Someone has to pay for your bike lanes and it sure isn’t you.

  4. Matt, is your nose out of joint because bicyclists want to use the bridges they pay for too. I pay taxes, and based on income, quite a bit more than you. Where is it said that cars are the end all be all of transportation? In your warped little-if-I-can’t-drive-it-I-don’t-get-it-lower-middle-class world? The local economy functions on more than twice daily traffic jams, thank you very much. One person per car is not just a poor use of resources, it’s personally selfish, as in, you are being selfish.

  6. From what funds are road repairs and upgrades based on? Vehicle licensing fees and federal road funds. Which of those do you contribute to again?

    It’s amazing not only how you not only assume you must be more successful than a anonymous person online but also make assumptions regarding their driving and lifestyle habits as well. How is the view from your ivory tower of moral superiority anyway? To think you have the gall to call myself both selfish and a twit…

  7. Um…hey, anonymous guy who called Matt a twit. Correct me if I’m wrong, but the transportation infrastructure of Portland (including bike lanes!) is maintained by taxes on *motorized vehicles.* It’s a real sore point with motorists, because bicycles are not taxed, and are therefore getting free access to the roads motorists have to pay for. Which is a little hard to stomach everytime a bicycle jumps in front of you at a stop light, or when they shut down all the bridges for a bike race…

    Oh, and hey, way to go on the name calling. And the bragging.

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