Otto Jespersen (total badass) & Johanna Mørck (total babe)
  • Otto Jespersen (total badass) & Johanna Mørck (total babe)

[UPDATE: This contest is closed and the winner has been notified.] This week I reviewed Norway’s Trollhunter, which is not only the best monster movie I’ve seen in some time, but also one of the best usages of “found footage” (a la Blair Witch) I’ve seen ever. It opens tonight at the Hollywood Theatre, and we’ve got two tickets to give away for the very first showing at 7:30. This opening show is going to include something special, as Dan Halsted at the Hollywood informs us: “”We have a massive Troll piñata that will fly in front of the crowd and be smashed by lucky audience members with the assistance of strobe lights and Norwegian black metal. It’s going to be pretty amazing.”

Want ’em? All you have to do is leave your best troll-related pun in the comments. We’ll pick a winner by 4 pm today. (You have to have a functioning email address attached to your Merc profile, otherwise we can’t contact you; anonymous comments won’t win).

Now, a few words about troll-related puns: They’re not quite as easy as they look. The Mercury‘s crack Troll-Punning Team* struggled for minutes on end—minutes!—to come up with a punny headline and kicker for our article (“The Troll Truth, and Nothing But” and “Baiting Trolls” won out), but another publication—which I won’t name—simply didn’t even try. LOOK at this bullshit:

nontrollpuns.jpg

FIRST THING: “I wanna kiss you all ogre”? This is a troll movie, not an ogre movie. SECOND THING: “Fe-fi-fo-fun”? Uh, a troll never uttered those words—that was a giant, damn you. A giant!

You can do better, commenters. Get cracking.

*Courtney Ferguson, myself.

Trollhunter opens tonight at the Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 & 9:30 pm nightly, $7

Ned Lannamann is a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon. He writes about film, music, TV, books, travel, tech, food, drink, outdoors, and other things.

41 replies on “Win Tickets to <i>Trollhunter</i>! Also, Troll Punning Ain’t Easy”

  7. Just free tickets? You should at least throw in a batch of troll house cookies.

    Ask not “For whom the Hell Trolls?” Them trolls for thee.

    This *is* pretty tough. I guess you troll us so…

    “Trolly, Mudly, Creepily” …ah, forget it, that reference is old enough to drink in bars. But ALAN RICKMAN.

  18. Trollin’ down the street, smokin’ indo…
    Uh… G’z up, troll’z down, let the…
    [awkward silence]
    I’d better get back to work.

  20. Get Your Troll On

    Troll Call

    The Troll I was Born to Play

    Ski Patroll

    Call Me Troll Fashioned

    A Trollfactory Delight

    The Trollson Twins

    Let Me See That Tootsie Troll

    Troll in the Hay

    I’m really disappointed in you two, trollin’ IS easy.

  39. It was a close one! This contest is closed and the winner has been notified. Thanks, all! You should go see Trollhunter anyway.

Comments are closed.