“What’s the best Xmas/holiday song evarrrrr?” This question needs to be decided once and for all! And who better to decide it than the annoyingly opinionated denizens of Blogtown? SO THIS IS HOW IT’S GONNA WORK:

For the next four days I’m gonna break all Xmas songs down to their TOP TEN in each of the following categories (I’ll decide what the top ten is. If you don’t like it, see special NOTE FROM HUMPY* below.): SECULAR (Non-religious stuff written before 1970-ish, and after 1900-ish), RELIGIOUS/SUPER OLD-TIMEY (Stuff glorifying god and/or Jesus or written pre-1900), ANIMATED (Songs either written for, or used in, animated holiday specials—yes, Rudolph and Frosty will be included here, rather than in “secular,” and if you don’t like it, see special NOTE FROM HUMPY* below), and COMMENTER’S CHOICE (Stuff you think should have been included in the top tens of previous lists AND/OR cool original songs—not versions of existing songs—like Chuck Berry’s Run, Run Rudolph, or George Michael’s “Last Christmas [I Gave You My Heart]”.)

Every day you’ll vote for the best song in that category, and on Friday we’ll put the TOP TWO vote-getters from each category into one HOLIDAY MEGA-POLL, vote on that, and VOILA! We’ll have the “BEST XMAS SONG EVARRRRR!!” (If you don’t like the way I’m running this, see special NOTE FROM HUMPY* below.)

Okay, ready to vote? Today’s Xmas/Holiday Song category is “SECULAR” so vote for which you think is the best song… not the best version of the song, got it? YOU GOT IT. (If you’re unfamiliar with any of these songs, or need a reminder, I’ve posted the names after the jump with links, cuz I’m sweet, and I don’t want to hear any bullshit excuses.) Did I not include your absolute favorite in the top ten? Put your suggestion in the comments for possible inclusion in Thursday’s “Commenter’s Choice” Poll. Otherwise, see special NOTE FROM HUMPY* below.

Before we vote, a special NOTE FROM HUMPY*: “I don’t give a shit.”

LET’S VOTE!!

••••

The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)
Jingle Bell Rock
White Christmas
Feliz Navidad
Santa Baby
Sleigh Ride
Winter Wonderland
Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
I’ll Be Home for Christmas

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

38 replies on “Blogtown Vote-Off! What’s the Best Xmas Song EVARRR??”

  6. Okay, I will try (so hard) not to panic because I know it can still make the Commenter’s Choice poll. But you DO realize that “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” is absent this poll? It’s not Christmas until Darlene Love brings the house down on Letterman.

  12. Fairytale of New York was released in the mid-80s. But yeah, there’s that song, and everything else that’s worse than it.

    (although Slade’s Merry Christmas Everyone and Wizzard’s I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day, both from 1975, should both be in anyone’s top five)

  16. My heart says Feliz Navidad, but Grandpa’s old records are echoing in my brain. Only one song on this list was written by Irving Berlin, people!

  20. holy crap, there are way better secular xmas songs than any of these, including Rufus Thomas’ I’ll Be Your Santa Baby, Mack Rice’s Santa Claus Needs Some Lovin’, Commander Cody’s Daddy’s Drinking Up Our Christmas, Bill and Bonnie Hearne’s Christmas in a Honky Tonk (New Year’s Drunk in Jail) and Sarah Brown’s My Christmas Tree is Hung with Tears, and that’s just for starters.

  21. “Fairytale of New York” by The Pogues followed by “Indian Giver” by The Squirrel Nut Zippers. Everything else just gargles my balls.

  23. Since everyone else is ignoring what Steve wrote in his post, I’ll vote for The Man Who Came to Dinner and The Thin Man as the best Christmas movies.

  25. @ TSW
    Wow. That’s a great suggestion for Thursday’s COMMENTER’S CHOICE poll, which you would have known about if you had LEARNED TO READ!! (Also see special NOTE FROM HUMPY*).

  27. This post proves that EVERYONE who comments on Blogtown is illiterate or at the very least, functionally illiterate.

    Albert King – Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin’ (not the Lynyrd Skynyrd version!)

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  28. @Ned, Santa Baby is literally the only traditional Christmas song I can remotely stand. I’m not saying it’s good, but it doesn’t make me want to slam speakers with a hammer until they’re dust.

  35. Where’s Blue Christmas?

    Also you should include Clarence Carter’s “Back Door Santa”. It’s from 1968, so that should qualify also.

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