Last night, Willard Romney’s tiny operators deftly manipulated the dials and levers that make him speak, allowing the simulacrum to deliver carefully calibrated utterances about his vapid plan to heal the economy, the failures of President Obama, his own dramatized personal history, and his standing as the “real” hope and change facing America.
And? So? Yes, he lied a couple of times. Yes, he was upstaged by the hologram of an elderly actor who once starred against a monkey (More about that later this morning). No, it’s not clear if he’s shown he’s human enough for voters to decide they like him better than Sh-enator Obama (like John McCain used to say!).
Also, Americans like bellowing at empty chairs and invisible presidents. They didn’t call him “Silent Cal” for nothing!
Next up for Willard Romney: Land speculation along the Gulf Coast.
The storm formerly known as Hurricane Isaac is finally done soaking and haunting the people of Louisiana and Mississippi.
The storm spared New Orleans but not the small, rural towns and swamp folk all around it. Now it’s the suburbanites’ turn to blame the levees. For working too well.
A major earthquake off the coast of the Philippines briefly triggered a tsunami warning. It’s since been canceled.
The best way to ditch student loans in bankruptcy is to matter-of-factly explain to the judge that you’re a bum. You’ve always been a bum. And you’re always going to be a bum.
Unsurprisingly, the “legitimate rape” congressman, Todd Akin, is still polling well in his bid to represent Missouri in the U.S. Senate.
Harvard is investigating claims that more than 120 students in a class devoted to the study of Congress cheated on a final examination—the largest such display of mass academic dishonesty that anyone there can remember.
Apartheid remains the gift that keeps on giving. An old racist law means the government can charge a whole group of striking miners with murder—even though it was the cops who were seen on film gunning down 34 armed and angry miners in a recent clash.
NO ONE HEARD AT ALL. NOT EVEN THE CHAIR.
I received an email about some interesting news about what was happening down at the RNC:
http://oathkeepers.org/oath/2012/08/30/the…
Warning, Hippies: this is from a very conservative group. Put a clean shirt on and closed-toe shoes before reading.
Basically, the voting on rules that happened at the RNC was all scripted (surprise, surprise, right?). This was videoed by a Republican Delegate from Oregon (yay Oregon!), it shows the announcer reading from a teleprompter, and the teleprompter dictating the results of ya/nay voting. If you know anyone who is a die-hard fan of the Republicans (probably your Dad and Grandpa), or who is a Ron Paul fan (like that crazy uncle), you should send them this video. I think there’s a very good chance that the Libertarians are going to create a viable 3rd party after this convention, as clearly the string-pullers with the Republicans just shit all over them. That’s going to be pretty interesting for the Republicans, as they won’t be able to pretend that they’re fans of “small government” or “individual rights” once the Libertarians are gone, instead they’ll be shown for the war-mongering fascists that the party has become.
Obviously the prof. in the Congress Class hadn’t got to the point about not getting caught while cheating.