Cruelly slashing Medicare is a hallmark of the Willard Romney/Paul Ryan cure for what ails America. But, curiously, that prescription isn’t so popular with the rank-and-file Republicans in legislative races trying to con votes from their elderly neighbors.

Medicaid—the federally funded, states-run program for the poor—actually marks a bigger contrast between the Willard Romney and Barack Obama campaigns. Romney would whack the crap out of it. Obama would like make sure more needy Americans have access to safe, cost-effective, non-bankrupting preventive health care.

No one knew what the fuck Clint Eastwood was about to do the other day when he acted strangely on stage.

The makers of Thalidomide, the leading baby-shortening drug of the 1950s, have decided to apologize after several decades.

A fool and his lottery bonanza will soon be parted, one McDonald’s value meal at a time.

It’s been 50 years since Northwest drivers burned up, on average, so little gasoline.

The Mormons are cool with caffeine now. So long as it’s mixed in with high-fructose corn syrup and packaged by a leading soft-drink manufacturer.

Imagine that. Someone writing on the O‘s opinion pages would rather not have to look at homeless people—calling for a cop-led beatdown instead of better-paying jobs and invigorated social services and health care funding.

I am clearly the descendent of a lost race of primitive humans.

Don’t stick your head out of moving buses.

Don’t lecture people about the “right way” one might shoot oneself in the head.

THIS MADE ME SAD.

Denis C. Theriault is the Portland Mercury's News Editor. He writes stories about City Hall and the Portland Police Bureau, focusing on issues like homelessness, police oversight, insider politics, and...

7 replies on “Good Morning, News!”

  2. That editorial at the O was noteworthy for being penned by someone named Pindick, and the immediate screams of the reactionary readership that haunt the comment boards over there saying Pindick was going to be “eviscerated” and so on. The comments continue, generally the liberals are fairly polite, but the conservatives howl that The So Called Tolerant will soon show up and start being mean to everyone, meanwhile they continue to say inhumanly stupid shit and whine about it if anyone disagrees with them…

  3. I’ve never been, am not now, and (actively) have no plans to ever become a Mormon. That said, it’s not clear whether your misrepresentation of the Mormon’s doctine about caffeine (are cool with caffeine “now”) is willful or just plain careless. Stick with posts about music and carb laden treats and leave politics to the big kids.

  4. take a good look, folks:

    if you want to see what a future patricide looks like, just as the idea of it is first being born inside a birthday boy’s head, watch that video.

    (i know it’s hard to sit through, but don’t miss the bit right after birthday boy opens daddy’s card, with the non-$30 in it…..)

  6. @ Seymour Glass, I would suspect the latter possibility. Or it may just stem from the unfortunate fact that people who think they are in the elite of the educated and worldly because they attended college and traveled a little are usually not as clever as they think they are.

  7. I don’t mind looking at homeless people, but the stench of their piss puke and poop as I walked down burnside Sunday was a little over the top.

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