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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Keep talking that mess, that’s fine. But could you walk and talk at the same time? And it’s my name that’s on that tag, so remove your bags, let me call you a cab. LET’S GO TO PRESS.
In Bob Woodward’s new book Fear, Trump allegedly had a FREAK OUT about a South Korean missile defense system that he screamed should be packed up and moved to… Portland?
A racist was caught saying racist things about Hillsboro… by the mayor of Hillsboro. Moral: Watch who you’re saying racist things to, racists!
To the surprise of ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, e-scooter injuries (and accompanying trips to the emergency room) are rising rapidly in major cities, largely due to operator error and defective, shoddy workmanship.
The romance novel-writing wife of murdered Oregon Culinary Institute chef Daniel Brophy has been charged with the killing of her husband.
It’s official: The Democrats are fighting back HARD to stop SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh by leaking “confidential” documents that prove the nominee has been lying about his views on abortion. (When Senate Republicans threatened to expel Sen. Cory Booker for helping leak documents, he replied “Bring it.” Thankfully he did not add the word “bro” at the end.)
Watergate scandal participant John Dean will also be testifying against Kavanaugh, to warn of the nominee’s “pro-presidential power” slant.
Trump’s administration have a unified answer when asked whether they penned the blistering NYT op-ed about the president: “It wasn’t me!”
Meanwhile Trump is striking back in the only way he knows how: attacking the “fake” media (this time with an assist from America’s sheriffs).
This guy rules pic.twitter.com/TgP1sHycVC
— Inter Miami Fan Acct (@Squanch_Me) September 7, 2018
America’s wackiest lawyer™ Rudy Giuliani now says that Trump will refuse to answer any of Mueller’s questions about obstruction—because we alllll know what will happen.
Trump tells his supporters that if he gets impeached “it’ll be your fault”—instead of, you know, his obvious criminality and incompetence.
New York, New Jersey, and four other states are now taking a serious look at their Catholic priests after the damning report of sexual abuse that went on for decades in Pennsylvania.
It took them long enough, but Twitter has finally banned Alex Jones and InfoWars.
Tesla’s Elon Musk is a weirdo fuck-up. That is all!
When actress Olivia Munn learned that one of her castmates from The Predator was a registered sex offender, she got the studio to cut the man’s scene out of the movie.
Actor Burt Reynolds died yesterday at the age of 82. Here’s a story about his famous “naked on a bear skin rug” centerfold shoot which hung on my sister’s wall for years. (I did not disapprove.)
Now let’s look at the WEATHER: 82 degrees and clear today, while a cloudy, cooler weekend lies ahead.
And finally, if Trump is really concerned about who the anonymous op-ed writer is, he should at least learn how to pronounce the word “anonymous.”
What happened here when President Trump tried twice to pronounce “anonymous”? pic.twitter.com/nwSNnQuKfm
— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) September 7, 2018
That Booker diatribe was embarrassing. The documents were hardly damning, but most importantly, they had already been cleared for public release before his rant. He is such a blowhard.