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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! All the world’s a candy store, he’s been trick or treatin’. When it comes to true love, girl, with him there’s no one home. LET’S GO TO PRESS.
Jeffrey Epstein’s inner circle of employees and ex-girlfriends are under scrutiny for allegedly recruiting teenage girls for the now-deceased sex criminal.
Chinese officials are cracking down on Hong Kong protesters in advance of the anniversary of the Umbrella Movement on Saturday.
President Trump’s aides said he lied about calls from China in order to manipulate the markets, according to CNN. Wow. https://t.co/oYyxKVmmc2
— Josh Rogin (@joshrogin) August 30, 2019
After Trump bad-mouthed them on Twitter and asked his idiot base to find another news network, FOX News’ Neil Cavuto clapped back at the president, saying “We don’t work for you.” Ummm… the time for most people to believe that has long passed.
To the surprise of absolutely no one, the governor of Alabama was in a Black-face sketch during her college days. She has apologized, but refuses to step down even though she has no business running a state.
Joe Biden screws up again, telling a pieced-together war story that was moving—but not true in the least. We’re going to eventually push him aside, right?
An inspector for the Justice Department has decreed that former FBI Chief James Comey violated the bureau’s policy when he leaked info to the press about Trump—though since he didn’t leak classified information (which the president has repeatedly accused Comey of doing), the Justice Department won’t level any punishments.
LOVE HER
You’re a disgrace to the world 😂😂
Young queen speaking truth to power
RETWEET if you agree pic.twitter.com/y9Uq5ThpT2
— StanceGrounded (@_SJPeace_) August 29, 2019
Hurricane Dorian is gaining speed and heading for the coast of Florida.
Trump’s personal assistant, who’s been with him since he entered the White House, has been abruptly given the boot after she allegedly shared personal details about the president’s family with the press.
Hats off to NFL free agent Ryan Russell who has bravely come out as bisexual.
IN LOCAL NEWS: A Portland man has been arrested for setting a homeless encampment on fire, and was allegedly seen beforehand warning these same campers that “if they did not move, he would set their things on fire.” Our Alex Zee has the details.
State budget cuts have made county commissioners jobs harder, impeding their efforts to keep people out of prison. Our Blair Stenvick has more on that story.
YOU LOOK THIRSTY. Have a $5 slushy! YOU ALSO LOOK LIKE YOU NEED A LAUGH. Get your tickets now for the Undisputable Geniuses of Comedy, coming at you on Sept 21! OH! AND YES, YOU DO LOOK SEXY! Tickets for HUMP! 2019 are right here.
Now let’s cast an eye upon the WEATHER: Expect a nice, sunny Friday afternoon with a high of 82, and a mostly decent weekend!
And finally, speaking of decent weekends, sometimes I look at the Mercury‘s Things to Do calendar, and I’m all like….
“State budget cuts have made county commissioners’ jobs harder, impeding their efforts to keep people out of prison. Our Blair Stenvick has more on that story.”
T,FTFY
Apostrophes matter. There’s enough idiots out there using them to pluralize words. Let’s not start omitting them when they are warranted.