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Mueller reminds America that if he couldve charged Trump he would have, and drops the mic.
Mueller reminds America that if he could’ve charged Trump he would have, and drops the mic. Courtesy CNN

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! ‘Cause when I think of you, baby, nothin’ else seems to matter. ‘Cause when I think of you, baby, all I think about is our love. LET’S GO TO PRESS.

This morning special counsel Robert Mueller made a hastily scheduled public statement—his first since the beginning of the Russia investigation—in which he explained why it was unconstitutional to charge Trump with the crime of obstructing justice, saying that if his office “had confidence that the President clearly did not commit a crime, we would have said so.” THAT’S DAMNING, NOW ISN’T IT?

Mueller also said he is closing his office and retiring from the Justice Department, and if he has his way, will not testify on the Russia investigation before Congress or anyone else, claiming that “the report is my testimony.” Now it’s up to Congress to continue the investigation, and make sure the full contents of this report is read by everyone.

He also noted that “Russian intelligence officers who are part of the Russian military launched a concerted attack on our political system,” adding that they used information from Wikileaks “designed and timed to interfere with our election and to damage a presidential candidate.” WE KNEW THIS, BUT STILL DAMNING. Mueller left the podium without taking any questions, and if nothing else left Trump in the uncomfortable position of defending his buddy Vladimir Putin.

RELATED: Author Michael Wolff has another book coming out about the Trump presidency, in which he has former crony Steve Bannon on the record as calling the Trump organization a criminal enterprise, and that the president’s downfall will come after his finances are revealed.

There have been reports of more than 500 tornadoes in the central US in a month’s time which is practically unheard of—except in these days of climate change, of course. Naturally Trump is doing everything he can to undermine climate change regulations and science.

The Supreme Court has compromised on an Indiana anti-abortion law, upholding the state’s new rules on disposal of fetal remains, while refusing to allow a part of the law which would restrict a woman’s right to the abortion based on a medical diagnosis.

Senate Majority Turtle Mitch McConnell said that if another Supreme Court seat opened in the last days of the Trump presidency, he’d definitely fill it—even though he denied Obama the same opportunity in 2016. This is because he has no intention of fighting fair, so why should we?

Michigan Republican congressman Justin Amash faced his constituents after controversially calling for Trump’s impeachment and received a standing ovation from his district which voted for the president.

The DNC will enact tougher rules for their 23 presidential candidates, making sure they hit a certain threshold for fundraising and polling before allowing them to appear on the debate stage.

During a Memorial Day game, the Fresno Grizzlies minor league baseball team showed the crowd an “Enemies of Freedom” video that included Kim Jong Un, Fidel Castro, and… Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez? THINGS DID NOT END WELL FOR THEM.

IN LOCAL NEWS: A reportedly suicidal Parkrose student has been indicted by a grand jury on charges of bringing a loaded shotgun into his school. Our Alex Zielinski has the details.

A city audit shows that street repairs have been lagging after the implementation of a gas tax and the program needs better oversight. Check out the story from our Blair Stenvick.

Now let’s educate ourselves on the WEATHER: Morning clouds depart to reveal a sunny afternoon with a high of 74.

And finally, sometimes you don’t WANT to sing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”—especially when you can’t get the “Imperial March” out of your head.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)