Credit: via Twitter

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The Trump Shutdown in Action
The Trump Shutdown in Action via Twitter

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Who are you to call my cell? Oh, I’m-a wish you well. ‘Cause any girl that tried has fell. LET’S GO TO PRESS.

The Mueller noose tightens again as longtime Trump advisor Roger Stone is arrested and indicted by the special counsel on charges of lying and witness tampering. (Expect Trump to start his Twitter witness tampering later today.)

Another member of the Trump crime family, Paul Manafort, appeared in court today to try and convince the judge he didn’t breach his plea agreement by lying to Robert Mueller. Good luck with that, liar!

As expected, two competing bills that would stop the Trump shutdown failed in the Senate—BUT! The Democratic plan got more votes than the Trump plan when Republicans hopped over to their side. In fact, GOP senators were heard sniping at each other at a closed-door luncheon, blaming Mitch McConnell for putting them in their very uncomfortable position. (Heh, heh, hehhhhh.)

Flights have been interrupted at LaGuardia, Newark, and Philadelphia airports thanks to… you guessed it… the Trump shutdown—which is not going to make the president any more popular.

Guys, Trump’s commerce secretary Wilbur Ross is “confused” why all these furloughed federal workers are going to food banks when they can just take out a loan to pay their bills. (Is Ross volunteering to pay back the interest rates on all those loans? Didn’t think so.)

Meanwhile it looks like the top secret security clearance for Jared “Jared!” Kushner was originally red-flagged by the FBI, but a Trump appointee overruled their concerns.

Today in “Holy Shit”: Florida Secretary of State Mike Ertel has resigned after photos emerged of him at a Halloween party wearing blackface and a “Katrina Victim” T-shirt.

All non-emergency American embassy staff in Venezuela have been ordered home following violent political clashes in the country.

NEED SOME GOOD NEWS? Beloved comedian Patton Oswalt was attacked on Twitter by a Trump supporter, but after looking at the man’s timeline, discovered he’d been sick and donated money to his GoFundMe account to help pay his medical expenses.

IN LOCAL NEWS: Portland’s Industrial Workers of the World (IWW) offices have been tagged by someone (or someones) who really don’t like them very much…. Maybe it has something to do with Patriot Prayer’s recent visit? Our Alex Zielinski reports.

Two people were shot and wounded yesterday in downtown Portland—police are still looking for the suspect.

Now let’s look skyward at the WEATHER: Partly cloudy skies and a high of 52 lead to a nice weekend!

And finally, SERIOUSLY. Take three minutes and watch this highly satisfying video of Sen. Michael Bennett of Colorado viciously and righteously hand Sen. Ted Cruz his hypocritical ass.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)