IT’S FRIDAY! Good morning!
Avoid the Sellwood Bridge starting tonight, because it’s going to be closed. The closure is probably going to clog up the Ross Island Bridge, Southeast McLoughlin Boulevard, and Interstate 5 through Sunday, warns Multnomah County spokesman Mike Pullen.
Also avoid electing Jeb Bush as president in 2016, please.
It’s supposed to be 78 degrees on Sunday (wheeeeeee! summer!), so get out there and get some Vitamin D on your skin! Or, if you are thirsty and hate the sun, maybe check out the 32nd Annual Craft Brewers Conference at the Oregon Convention Center.
As you probably learned from Ann Romano on this week’s One Day at a Time, “world’s worst person, Gwyneth Paltrow“, took a crack at living living on $29 worth of food for one week in an apparent attempt to connect with all us plebes. She made it four days.
U.S. Attorney General nominee Loretta Lynch has been waiting five damn months for a confirmation vote, and Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) is fed up. “I know parliamentary procedure around here and we’re going to put up with this for a little while longer, but not much,” Reid said Thursday. He’s right. This is pretty ridiculous.
“Have you ever gotten high, eaten a Choco Taco, and wished it were bigger?” Problem solved.
As many as 14 million bees got loose on Interstate-5 this around 3:30 this morning when a semitruck overturned at the Interstate-405 interchange. “Everybody’s been stung,” according to Washington State Patrol Sgt. Ben Lewis. I bet.
Yikes: An Ohio man who trained with a terrorist group in Syria was arrested yesterday. Abdirahman Sheik Mohamud, 23, allegedly talked about “doing something big” in the United States after he completed his training.
In more yikes: The American military is now experimenting with ways to affix a “kamikaze drone armed with explosives from the back” to the back of an aircraft so that the drone could launch from the aircraft and fly right into a target.
And because it was ALL OVER my newsfeed yesterday, here is that ridiculous video of David Hasselhoff. I could only get to the part where Adolf Hitler makes his cameo. Enjoy: