Good Morning, News: Whether for a Murderous Sociopath or Native Peoples, Your Bank is Closed

It’s Indigenous Peoples’ Day in a couple US cities. Here in Portland, though, you’re going to find yourself waiting in vain near the mail box in honor of detested Cristobal Colon.

One of those who’s got the day off? US Attorney Amanda Marshall, who’s quietly asked a federal judge to take back some scathing criticisms of prosecutors he says were complicit in efforts to hide evidence. Most of the judge’s concerns, though, were about an Oregon State Police detective who’s been raking in almost $5,700 a month since December, amid investigations into his shady conduct.

Something to add to your already-jaded view of Portland’s slippery real estate market: The McElderys, of Northeast Portland, won an apology and loan modification from their lender last year. Now Nationstar Mortgage is trying to foreclose on them again, in much the same way, according to a lawsuit.

Oh, you wanted Dame Lillard to help you propose to your lady/gent? Too late. Lucio already did that.

The first known case of Ebola contracted on US soil is nefariously replicating in a nurse who’d treated Thomas Duncan, the man who died last week. We’re supposed to be proficient in keeping this thing under wraps in precisely these hospital conditions, so this isn’t good.

“God, in pity, made man beautiful and alluring, after his own image; but my form is a filthy type of yours, more horrid even from the very resemblance.“

Alaska’s got a long history of outlawing same-sex marriages. NOT ANYMORE.

A tiny department within the US Navy recently spent $1.6 million on $10,000 worth of rifle silencers. An investigation into the buy is raising a lot more questions than whether the Navy’s “Directorate for Plans, Policy, Oversight and Integration” has proper purchasing safeguards. Questions like: “What’s up with the warehouse full of foreign guns in Pennsylvania?” and “Why’d you destroy all those documents?”

Elizabeth Warren—US Senator, darling of the progressive left—calls it: Obama’s been too cozy with Wall Street.

No “boots on the ground” or anything in Iraq and Syria. Serious. We’ll just be using all these Turkish bases for planning purposes.

Protest updates! A huge march for Ferguson—including notables like Cornel West. People in Hong Kong are may be growing tired of the pro-democracy occupation, which is nonetheless staying in place.

Here’s something terrible to watch in the spirit of Columbus Day.