We received a bunch of responses to last week’s feature about a magnitude 9.0 earthquake destroying Portland. Some people told us they loved it. Others said the story was traumatizing. Still others said our story wasn’t catastrophic enough. (I know. I know. I didn’t mention the dams. But damn it! Weren’t things bad enough already?) So what was my favorite comment? It was this email, sent by Portland State University student Joel Eisenhower:

Subject: The First Four Minutes: what a buzzkill!

Way to go and spoil our hipster mecca, Merc! Geez, you guys are bigger assholes than I thought. Then again, your article does point out some pretty gaping holes in our infrastructure. If even half of your doomsday scenario is accurate, it seems like we should be doing a lot more as a city to upgrade our bridges and build redundancy systems for critical services and resources. Now every time I drive over the Fremont Bridge I'm going to be picturing my Honda Civic doing a gnarly swandive into the abyss [sigh]. I really used to like that bridge. Thanks a lot you apocalyptic shitheads.

From one asshole to another, you’re welcome.