The Portland Business Alliance is always looking for new, creative ways of hustling the homeless out of the downtown business district—so maybe they should steal the following idea from the Chinese, who in turn, stole it from a German artist.
In at least one Chinese province, you have to pay to sit on park benches, which come equipped with a coin-operated timer. But if you dally too long on the bench? LOOK OUT!
If visitors at the Yantai Park in Shangdong province, eastern China, linger too long without feeding the meter, dozens of sharp spikes shoot through the seat.
The spikes are too short to cause any serious harm – but long enough to prevent people from sitting on them comfortably.
Park bosses got the idea from an art installation in Germany where sculptor Fabian Brunsing created a similar bench as a protest against the commercialisation of modern life.
OHHHH! Sweet irony… sweet, sweet irony! If the PBA does nick this idea, be sure to borrow the park official’s totally logical reasoning as well!
“We have to make sure the facilities are shared out evenly and this seems like a fair way to stop people grabbing a bench at dawn and staying there all day,” said one park official.
Sharp spikes, is there anything they *can’t* solve?
Just bring a pillow or a pad to sit on.
Or a newspaper, or a coat…
How about a bench that’s only a bench while the meter is running, instead of one that looks like a torture device? Just have the seat go from vertical to horizontal. Same result, but with fewer ‘shocked’ headlines.
Tri-met already did this with some of their benches using those armrests that make fun of bigger folks or those trying to take a nap.
I’m trying to imagine the pride I’ll feel when I can say “my tax dollars went to create benches with spikes”.