Actually, I’m asking this for my benefit rather than anyone else. IT’S FLEET WEEK, GUYS! Which means it’s time to roam Portland’s downtown corridor in search of some hot sailor meat. However! I have to admit that my last few attempts at bagging a sex starved Navy boy have been disappointing. Either they end up being “Christian,” “married,” “too busy,” or simply lousy in the sack. Or, you know, MAYBE IT’S ME. Let’s find out, once and for all!

Is Having Sex with a Fleet Week Sailor Overrated, Underrated, or Rated?


As always, “rated” means that having sex with visiting Naval personnel is just as awesome or icky as one might expect. Check here for other examples from the Overrated, Underrated or Rated canon, and defend your vote in the comments below!

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Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

6 replies on “Overrated, Underrated, or Rated: Sex with a Fleet Week Sailor”

  2. Silly boy! It’s a waste of time to pursue sailors during Fleet Week. The wildly successful don’t ask don’t policy has ensured that there are no gay sailors. Right?

  3. I have always had a great time during fleet week, surely underrated, but then again I am a man that has sex with men…. and trust me their is always a gaggle of sailors looking for manlove. Never disappoints.

  4. Sorry, BOOZER. It’s government policy that there are no gay people in the military, so obviously, there can’t be manlove-seeking sailor-gaggles roaming the streets of Fleet-Week Portland. I mean, it’s government policy. If we can’t believe government policy, then we can believe nothing.

    My best guess, you must have seen a group of Portland pirates and mistook them for a sailor gaggle.

  5. @ TimB: I’m surprised I need to point out that the premise for your sarcasm is simply and obviously wrong. The policy is clearly against OPEN gayness, not gayness, full stop.

    It’s a stupid, childish, unworkable policy that has ruined countless lives, but it’s hardly the “No Gays” policy you think it is – it is more accurately, “be gay if you want, but you better make damn sure no one suspects/finds out.”

  6. Navy men are better loves than marines, but marines are a decent fuck in a pinch. You will have to drink Budweiser instead of PBR though.

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