So this last story from my lovely long vacation to Portland takes the cake. Technically it was a ride share, not a friend date. There's a guy going to the coast as a photographer and can take me to the ocean. He picks me up at hostel and its like a Soviet version of Jersey Shore, but no big deal. We talk and stop at a cherry stand, go the the ocean, no big deal. On the way back he starts telling me about his family business and how he will kill a motherfucker for drugs but his cousin in Europe who abducts girls for sex trafficking, now that ain't right. Im a little drunk and i start texting my ex to call me in a few hours just to be sure. On the way back, we see a car accident and a corpse. Right before he drops me off, he mentions he's been thinking about getting a man bun. I laugh until I notice he is serious. I still have his card. Apparently he's a big deal. Major connections. I hope I'm not murdered in my sleep.