1. I’m 53-year-old straight woman. I’ve been talking with a guy online for three years — text, voice, video. I am in love with him. He is my daily companion and says he loves me. He lives 269 miles away. He doesn’t want to meet me, although he isn’t married, and lives alone. I’ve tried going out with other people, but I am stuck on him. I definitely want more. Do I leave him or keep trying?

Can you leave someone you’ve never met? I’m not sure — but you can do the next best thing(s): block his number, block him on socials, block his email.

 2. I have a disgusting and embarrassing problem. I have chronic IBS, and every time my husband and I want to have PIV doggy-style, my butt smells and he loses his erection. I know: cringe. I have tried a number of things: changes to my diet; a treatment for SIBO; a colonoscopy/endoscopy; even using a bidet. Nothing has helped. The gastroenterologist proposed not having doggy-style sex, but that’s my favorite position! Please help.

You’ve tried everything — including a bidet (a sign of true desperation) — and nothing has worked. So, maybe it’s time to think outside the healthcare/health interventions box. My suggestion: get your husband a rubber hood and gas mask with a long breathing tube — hell, get his & hers full rubber gimp suits and gas masks — and your husband can fling his breathing tube over his shoulder or get a longer one that runs down to the floor. You won’t be able to have doggy-style sex spontaneously if you need to get dress in full rubber before you get started — but it’s your favorite position, so why not make it an occasion?

P.S. Insensitive response, I realize, but my way of tossing this one to the commenters. Someone out there have any relevant experience here? Any suggestions? (That said, some people do find full rubber gimp suits and gas masks hot and going on new adventures together is important, IBS or no IBS.)


3. I’m in love with my sex worker. Can it ever be more than it is?

Read the rest of this week's column here!