Whatās the sexiest holiday food to eat off someoneās body?
While food can be sensuous, you donāt eat food off someoneās body unless youāre fucking or about to fuckā¦ and fucking on a full stomach is uncomfortable, which is why Iām always urging people to #FuckFirstā on Valentineās Day (and their wedding days, birthdays, anniversaries), and fucking on a slowly filling stomach really isnāt much better.
Like many people, I made the mistake of incorporating food into foreplay when I first became sexually active. Putting whipped cream on our tits made me and my first boyfriend feel like we were doing something naughty and sophisticated without either of us having to make ourselves vulnerable, e.g., without either of us having to open up about our actual kinks. And as we both quickly learned, whipped cream quickly liquifies as it rises to body temperature, and then you look and smell like an infant barfed all over you ā which is not something anyone you wanna fuck could find sexy.
Anyway, everyone should enjoy holiday food and holiday sex ā but not at the same time, and not in that order.
Ā No question here, Dan, just wanted to say we fucked first and ate later. Thanks for that great piece of advice!
Youāre welcome!
Ā How can I come hands-free? Iām a cis male.
Like squirting or rolling the edges of your tongue to make a little tube, coming āhands-freeā is not something everyone can do. And most of those āhands-freeā orgasms youāve seen in porn? They werenāt entirely āhands-free.ā Most of those guys are brought to the edge of orgasmic inevitability with a hand ā their own or someone elseās ā before being fucked over the edge.
Any tips for quickly preparing your butt for anal?
Ā You could do what we used to do before douching became standard: take a dump and cross your fingers. It wasnāt a perfect system (douching caught on for a reason), but it worked reasonably well ā meaning, it succeeded more often than it failed. You should also prep with lube ā lots of lube ā and prep with PrEP. And remember: in addition to protecting you from all the sexually transmitted infections PrEP doesnāt (PrEP only protects you from HIV), condoms also keep shit off your dick!
Ā How do we sneak in some quick sex while weāre staying with the whole family?
You offer to do a coffee run for the whole family, you head to the nearest ādrive-throughā Starbucks in the miserable suburb where you were raised, you park your car and go inside. You place your order at the counter, you head for the restroom ā which is empty and clean, as very few people get out of their cars ā and then you have sex (quickly!) standing up while your familyās enormous coffee order is being prepared.
Read the rest of this week's column here! And this week on the Lovecast:Ā
A man with a big ol' wiener sees his long distance girlfriend once per month. When they see each other they go at it, with a frequency and intensity that will make many of you blush. The problem? Itās causing her a lot of pain. Is there a way to make love, not lacerations?
Speaking of pain, Dan brings on Leigh Cowart, science journalist and author of āHurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purposeā They talk about masochism, how the experience of pain can be transmogrified into pleasure, how every masochist has a sadistās imagination, and finally- how to safely kick a man in the nuts. Cowart is such a superb thinker, and a delight to listen to. A little is on the Micro and the whole thing is on the Magnum. LISTEN HERE!
