SL Letter of the Day: What Am I Anyway?

I’m 27, male, identify as bisexual, and I enjoy crossdressing although I have only crossdressed with guys I meet online. I have no real desire to meet guys unless I’m dressed up. And when I do get together with a guy, once I cum, I’m ready to leave. I can’t see myself in a relationship with a guy. It’s just the sexual aspect that I’m interested in.

With females I can see myself getting married and having kids, etc., etc., when I have sex with a woman, I’m not in a cum-and-go mentality. But when I’m dating a girl, after about a month with her, I start to float back to jerking off while chatting (just chatting, not meeting up) with guys online through my crossdressing profiles. I know I could try to get a gal to use a strapon on me, but that doesn’t really appeal to me. I like flesh and blood cock, not some plastic thing that isn’t going to tell me I’m doing a good job…

So I guess my question is this: Do I hold out for a gal open to me having the odd bisexual encounter or do I learn to use my imagination a bit more during strap-on play? might this urge for real cock every now and then slow down with time? I only fantasize bout cock when I’m already horny, and lose all interest in it once I’ve cum. I thought in the past that I might be gay, but I figure since I have no desire to date men and can’t see myself with a guy long term, but have this desire to date women and can see myself long term with a woman, I must be bi… what are your thoughts?

Sorry If This Question Is A Little Scatterbrained

Sent from the Savage Love App for iPhone

My response after the jump…

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First, sorry if my response is a little scatterbrained. I’m on vacation—from everything but SLLOTD—and I am, as I mentioned yesterday, in a sort of impaired-state holding pattern somewhere over the Pacific. I’m slacking, for sure. I didn’t read all of today’s “Savage Love” mail; your letter was the first I pulled from the stack, SITQIALS. I’m not even going to bother to change “cum” to “come” in your letter.

Anyway, yeah, sure sounds like you’re into women, SITQIALS, even your fetish screams “into chicks.” Your crossdressing and roleplaying fantasies are all about fetishizing femininity. You want to play the role of the woman—you want to look like a woman, be treated like a woman, get fucked like a woman—but in your fantasy scenarios, SITQIALS, men aren’t human beings and sex partners. They’re not people with whom you could potentially have relationships. They’re props, the finishing touch that completes your crossdressing ensemble. And once you blow your load, once the game is over (once you COME), you’re done, you don’t need that prop anymore, and you just want to scram.

So what do you do? Well, I think your fetish makes you pretty damn near incapable of monogamy, and you’ve already discovered that strap-ons don’t meet your particular needs. So, yeah, I think you should hold out for a woman who’s into your fetish and turned on by the idea of sharing your ass—when it’s wearing panties—with a few good men. It’ll mean a longer search for the right woman… but you’re worth it.

And, hey, you also might want to read up on the controversial concept/theory of autogynephilia. Not saying that’s where you’re at or headed, don’t know enough about it to endorse it personally, but… it seemed relevant, food for thought, the more you know, etc.