I have two questions:
1) Is this what I look like when I have sex? (Please god, say “no.”)
And 2) Did these turtles sign a waiver?
(I know they’re turtles, but I still have to say it: NSFW-ish!!)
Hat tips to Buzzfeed.
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Having only had sex with you that one time. I can’t say. I kept my eyes closed. But that’s pretty much what you sounded like.
HOT.
Bonus: That little thing in its mouth looks like an opening-and-closing vagina.
HOTTER.
mmhm. i dont know what made me more uncomfortable; the sex or the squeaky opening and closing breathing mouth vagina.
When I was a kid we went to the San Diego zoo and the big tortoises were humping like crazy. It was Hump:30 in turtle land. From that day on, I understood one thing: turtles love to hump.
Bad news: Umm… yeah, actually – that’s exactly what you look like.
Good news: Fortunately, it’s not something that happens too often.