Many of you are curious about what it’s like to have sex with me. BEHOLD THE FOLLOWING METAPHOR! My penis is symbolized by the yellow wire, and the hole in the watermelon symbolizes your personal hole of choice. Roll it.


Watermelon Vs High Voltage Capacitor Bank – Watch more Funny Videos

OH! And the foreign voices symbolize the foreigners who pay to watch me do you.

Thanks Buzzfeed!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

5 replies on “Watermelon vs. High Voltage Capacitor… WHO YA GOT?!?”

  1. I’m not sure that “You’ll explode into a 1000 pieces none of them bigger than your finger within a second of it starting” is the best pickup line in the world, but I suppose some people may be into that sort of thing.

  2. While we are on the subject of getting fucked in two holes by the Mercury staff, doesn’t Wurster owe us a signature count today? He told the Oregonian there would be an update as of the middle of the month.

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